Beautiful Embrace

Please change your links and bookmarks!

2005-05-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

While this blog will stay here for nostalic purposes :), I will no longer post to it.

Please go to http://www.conformity-project.org to read recent posts. Thanks!

love, me

Release 0.1... or something.

2005-05-07T18:33:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! A VERY pre-release edition of conformity-project is now online. :) Go check it out and leave a comment!

edit: duh- if that didn't work for you it's because i coded the link wrong. *rolls eyes* Sorry. try again!

love, me

Raaar.

2005-05-02T22:43:00.000-07:00

La! La! La!

(That's for you, Stephen.)

Haven't had much to say lately... busy trying to figure stuff out. I thought I knew everything I needed to know, but it turns out there is oh-so-much more that I would like to do that I know absolutely nothing about.

I don't want to cop out and use free services for things like tag-boards and guestbooks, especially since there are scripts out there (in PHP) that can do that and make 'em all customizable without it being someone else's and them having adds and links on them.

Craziness.

Anyway... wish my luck. I think I'm gonna try learning this new foreign language. In the mean time, I may blog very little.

love, me

Turtle! Turtle!

2005-05-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already, go and see the template I made for Stephanie's blog! It's greeney... and bluey. :) Neato.

love, me

Conformity-Project.org

2005-04-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

After many years (well, weeks at least) of dreaming and much ado, I finally have my own domain! It's called Conformity-Project.org. There's not much there now, but I hope to have lots of fun things along with my own blog, free blog templates, and other stuff that I'm interested in that most people aren't.

So um, yea. There's nothing but a "coming soon" thing there now, but check back often, because eventually keileigh.blogspot.com will cease to exist!

I'm so stoked! AND! It's hosted by a Christian business. Part of their deal is that they only host God honoring websites so that we as Christians can know that we're not supporting businesses or sites that are unholy. Rock on!

I will be able to host sub-domains, too... which means you can have your own little space on conformity-project.org in the future! maybe!

love, me

Here's a mousie update!

2005-04-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

In the three days since we found out we had baby mice, they got HUGE! And grew baby fuzz! Hehe... here's what they looked like when we discovered them...

and here's what they look like now! It's amazing how much work God does in a little tiny creature in three days! They have hair and everything now! They're sooo cute.

It's amazing how different these mice are compared to the wild ones we had. These ones squeak a LOT more... it's adorable. Also, they're huge- much bigger than the other babies at this age. Hopefully, they'll get really fat and won't be able to fit out of the bars.

In other news, I've given up on the Day of Fire template (temporarily). I will surely let you all know when it's done. Love you guys.

love, me

Morning editorial

2005-04-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

I have to leave for work in just a couple minutes, but I wanted to write a few things to get you guys updated...

Night before last, Joel and I were gonna spend some time with our new mousies (they're so cute!) so we went to get them out of their cage. I also wanted to clean their cage out cos it smells all mousie in there. I picked up the little igloo thing in there and there are FIVE BRAND NEW BABIES in the cage. Either we let the other baby mice go too late (heh, one of them was a boy and thought mom was pretty dang hot) or the other mouse we bought was pregnant when we got her. Either way, We have five brand new baby mice and I can't clean the cage out until they're a little older. Don't want Mom(s) to eat 'em cos they smell like us. They're so CUTE when they squeak! I didn't want more baby mice though. Bleah.

Second, Joel's finger is healing really well. God gave him the easy way out. Why's that you ask? He's not in one single bit of pain! He must have cut all of the pain sensors in half when he sliced his finger because he can poke and prod where his stitches are and he doesn't even wince. That's actually kind of gross, but it's a blessing. I guess he doesn't really need feeling in his pinky finger, but I'm thinking it could be hazardous in the future when he can't tell that he just put his finger in the fan of a car or something. EW. That would not be good.

Also, my Mom invited me to a purpose driven life group at her apartment complex. Heh, when I got there, I found out I was gonna lead it! What's really awesome is that God totally gave me the words I needed and I think it went really well. I couldn't have done what I did- it was all God!

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Heh, I got an e-mail from Kim last night and the title of it was, "I am soooo weak!"

Oh yea? Well, I'm weaker than you!!!

It's just really cool when God puts us in a situation that we can't handle ourselves so that he can be shown as the one who does miracles. He doesn't put us in those places so we can fail... he just wants to be glorified!

Anyway... have a good day guys! I think I have more to say, but I can't remember it and I have to go to work! Maybe I'll post again later...

love, me

cuddling with HIM

2005-04-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I was talking to a good friend of mine. She was telling me about this really awesome moment she had with God. She said, "I was driving in my car and the radio wasn't on. God was just talking to me, telling me how much me loved me and I just couldn't stop smiling."

I was so jealous! I want a warm and fuzzy God moment!

So I asked for one, and I GOT IT! YAY!

Last night, I went to bed right after Joel did. He was exhausted and already asleep. I was just laying in the dark thinking about God when I felt all cuddly and warm.

You know how it is when you hug someone you REALLY REALLY love or how you cuddle up on the couch with somebody and watch a lovey-dovey movie while it's raining outside? It doesn't have to be someone you're romantically involved with- it can be a friend or your mom or dad or whoever. You just get this feeling like you don't want to let go and you just want to sleep and wake up just like that and feel all cuddly and loved forever.

I felt just like that. I felt like God was cradling me in his arms and he was just singing over me and touching my hair and my face. He was smiling and just wanting to look at me and love me. Felt like home.

I hope you have a warm-fuzzy God moment soon!

Oh, and please pray for a friend of mine. She's an older lady at my church and her neighbor of 20 years committed suicide recently. His wife died about six months ago (which was hard for my friend as well) and he just couldn't handle her being gone. My friend (her name is Opal) is really mourning because she's afraid that there's no way he could have gone to heaven. I don't know if this man was saved, so just pray for Opal, that she would receive God's comfort abundantly.

love, me

Beautiful Day

2005-04-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

First thing first.

.........
"Will- why did you do that??"

"Because. I saw the whipped cream and I saw your face. I made a connection."

*Ershley looks annoyed, but isn't really*

"Can I help you with that? I would lick it off, but I don't know you that well."

"Um... thank you?"
.........

I got to see all the cool people today. :) I got to see Julieanne, Haley, Sarah, Stephie, Ershley, Andrew, Will, Chris, and... I hope I didn't forget anyone. KIMBER! I saw Kimber, too! Hi Kimber! Don't get your feelings hurt! I love you, too!

We all had tremendous fun and I helped Ershley with the crazy whipped cream on her face. It was great.

Before all that crazy funness, I had lunch with Dave and Krissy. It was soooo fun. Then Dave, Krissy, Matt, Aaron and I had Cold Stone! It was awesome. After that is when Krissy and I ran into the chitlin's (as aforementioned). It was awesome.

After that, Joel came back from Encounter. They had an awesome time and they were all very very tired. I went to the grocery store after we all went home, and Joel stayed behind to do dishes and such. He sent me a text message and asked for some bandaids from the store. He called while I was checking out and he sounded a little upset. I said, "I got your bandaids! Did you cut your finger off?" He kind of grunted and I was like, "Okay, I'll be home in two seconds!"

I got there and it was NASTAY, as in NASTY. Aren't you glad I'm not putting a picture up? Yay!

So we went to the ER (much to his dismay) and he got five stitches and a sticker for being a good boy.

Watching the doc clean it and stitch it made me sick. Almost lost my lunch! I wanted to watch, and I kinda did but I had to keept sitting down cos it was bleeding a LOT when the doc was working on it.

So, we're home now, and I've had a great day. A weird day, but a good one. I have to go help Joel change bandages.

Hasta la vista!

love, me

Great paradox of love

2005-04-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
1 Peter 2:9-12, emphasis mine

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense- Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.

We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says,
"I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining."
1 John 2:1-8, emphasis mine

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
Romans 5:6-11, emphasis mine

Paradox: A seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true...
....

Though I realize it's very unlikely that I will ever be able to get through a single day without sinning at least once, I try anyway. My desire is to please God through obedience and holiness. I don't usually do very well. The willful sins aren't normally a problem, it's the sin that I don't see coming that gets me into trouble (like how you curse when you stub your toe. not only did you not plan to stub your toe, you didn't plan to cuss either!).

I didn't make it past noon today. I was driving to Clovis to visit Danny and Kristy (see last post) today. It's a pretty long drive (2 & 1/2 hours-ish) and I was coming up on a stop light on the highway. It was a long way off, and it turned yellow. I was going pretty fast (not faster than the speed-limit, though) and highway lights stay for a bit longer than normal, so I decided to try to make it. About twenty feet in front of the intersection, it turned red and I was going 55 mph- way too fast to try to stop. I gunned it and ran the red light. There were no cars coming or anything, but still.

The basic idea was that I didn't want to stop even though I was supposed to. I was so frustrated with myself. Just like Julieanne said, "I can't do half the things He asks me to most of the time."

The verse above says that we have come to know Him (God) if we obey his commands and that if we claim to know him, we must walk as Jesus did. That's simple...

Except that I still sin. I don't always obey him and I mess up (a lot). Does that mean I don't know him?

Um, according to that- yes. But according to grace, I'm forgiven. I'm a member of a royal priesthood. Peter said, "Just in case you do sin, Jesus has it covered."

Sooo... I'm not supposed to sin, because sin is evidence that I don't know God. But if I DO sin, God has it all under control because He took the punishment for my sin before I knew I was a sinner.

The idea that I deserved separation from God (even for something like running a red light) but didn't get it, and that God offered me salvation (which I didn't deserve) is a paradox.

Mercy: I didn't get what I did deserve (punishment).
Grace: I do get what I don't deserve (salvation).

Doesn't make sense- but God is amazing and beautiful. I love him so much!

Heh. Dang.

love, me

I am superwoman.

2005-04-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

Ahem. Just kidding.

So check this out... last night, I washed some clothes. Normally, that wouldn't be all that special, except that I washed them BY HAND! Woohah! Heh. I was gonna go over to Dave and Krissy's last night and do some laundry, but we hanged out (unfortunately, hung is not the correct word for the past tense of hang) too late at Good Times. Good food, but it was too late to raid their house and stay until a whole load of laundry was done. I'm funny. I actually washed a pair of jeans and some socks in the bath tub. I didn't do a whole load of laundry (can you say, "time consuming", boys and girls?), just what I needed to be clean today.

Today, I go to visit Danny and Kristy in Clovis! Yay! I'm excited... and I think they're excited too. I didn't want their excitement to be dimmed by stinky pants. So, I washed them. And you know what? God is so awesome! He dried my pants for me! I hanged (there it is again) my jeans on the shower curtain rod and pointed a fan at them. Even though I got as much water out of them as possible, they were still pretty dang wet. I figured they'd never be dry by ten this morning.

But they are! Well, mostly. I blow-dried my pockets. And now I'm wearing non-stinky pants! Wooo!

Um, this is possibly the most boring post I've ever, EVER written. I apologize.

In other news, I've hit a bit of a brick wall with the Day of Fire Template. I found that the image goes a bit further down than I would like (you can only see a little bit of the beginning of a post) and I decided I don't like the dark menu thing. Plus, it's all too narrow. Everything I design is narrow- I wanted this one to be a little different. Anyway, so I'm back to the drawing board. Hopefully it will look similar (cos I really like how the graphic came out), but different enough to be satisfactory.

Also, it looks wretched in 800x600 screen resolution. The bane of my existence.

...and since I'm going to D&K's today, there will be little/no time to mess with it. It seems that the unveiling of "I thirst for water" will be moved back a week... or more.

...

If you guys could pray for me, I've been going through a pretty dry spell spiritually. Kinda like what Julieanne shared a few weeks ago. I don't have any self-condemnation kinda stuff going on, just have a hard time reading and praying and all that stuff- motivation problems.

So last night at group, we were talking about having joy and a passion for God. I remembered that it's my love for God that gives me motivation to spend time with Him. If I have a hard time praying and reading His Word, it might be because I need to fall in love with Him again. Or at least MORE in love with Him.

Joel is at youth encounter way out in the middle of nowhere. Not sure where that is. Anyway...

Okay. I'm gonna call the M ay s again. I'm supposed to go there before I leave and get something from Stephen's room that belongs to Danny. I wonder if they're awake yet?

Bon Voyage!

love, me

Day of Fire fans??

2005-04-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

Check it out... I designed another cool template! Well, I'm in the process anyway. It's based on a picture of day of fire and it's the most elaborate thing i've ever done.

it will be finished in a couple of days. Here's a screen shot of what I have so far...

I hope you guys have a great day!

(ps- it doesn't look as good in IE- yet another reason to HATE THAT STUPID browser. *sigh* It doesn't pay attention to -moz-opacity settings (translation: it doesn't obey when I tell something to be partially transparent) so the background colors are ALL out of whack. I'll have to see if there's a hack for that.)

love, me

I have the BEST friends!

2005-04-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

First of all, I need to say a super-huge thanks to Kristy and Jill for being such incredible friends. Kristy left an awesome comment and sent me a card and Jill took me out to lunch today. I really needed that. It's awesome that I have such wonderful friends who are there in the rare occasion that I really need cheering up. You guys are awesome.

See? I'm feeling better!

Oh, and another thing. I'm back to five posts on a page. That's mucho better-o.

, me

It's official. I'm loaded.

2005-04-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

How rich are you?

I'm loaded.
It's official.
I'm the 277,391,305 richest person on earth!

This is really interesting... go check it out.

(I added a link to the right, too.)

love, me

Addendum to last post...

2005-04-15T22:34:00.000-07:00

Started my period about two hours after my last post.

The good news though, is that I went to group tonight and God reminded me (again) how I'm supposed to trust Him with my life.

I do. Thanks, God. I love you, too.

love, me

Point of a blog

2005-04-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

I guess a diary is supposed to be one of those things that you look back on and read so that you can remember what your life was like "back then." My blog isn't like that, although I've been thinking more and more lately that it should be. I tend to write what I write based on what I think my readers (I have like, three?) want to read, or what entertains them or whatever. It's not always like that, but it has been lately.

So, I guess I better write what I'm thinking and what I want to remember and throw caution to the wind. I'm sorry if this isn't going to entertaining.

As you can tell, I'm not in the best mood. I've been struggling with something the last several days and I haven't been writing about it because I guess it's not the kind of thing that the public (especially people I know) wants to read about. Oh well.

Joel and I have more or less been trying to conceive (get pregnant) since November, maybe a little earlier. So far, we really haven't been serious about it. Our idea of "trying" up to this point has been not using birth control. Joel's attitude has been, "If it happens, it happens," while mine has more been, "I wouldn't mind being pregnant!" Evertime my period comes around, I'm kinda disappointed but I get over it and figure that's just how it is. God knows when I'm ready for a kid, right? Absolutely. It hasn't been that big of deal. It takes "average" people six months or more to have a baby once they've started trying. I'm okay with that.

So, my last period started on March 16th and my cycle (from beginning of period to beginning of period) is only 26 days. As of today, I am five days late. We bought a test on tuesday. Negative- not pregnant. Took the second one of the pack this morning- negative.

You'd think I'd take the hint that I'm not pregnant. The thing is that I have almost all the symptoms: late period, always hungry, always tired, always have to pee... yada yada. So I'm thinking, "Maybe I just don't produce enough HCG yet." HCG is a hormone that the placenta secretes when a woman is pregnant. Some women don't produce detectable levels of HCG for up to six weeks after conception.

I made an appointment to see the doctor. They said they could see me today. I thought that doctor's offices do blood tests instead of urine ones (sometimes HCG levels aren't high enough in urine in the first weeks of pregnancy so blood tests are more effective) so I took it. I got there and had to pee in the stupid cup. I waited and waited and waited in the office. She came in and told me the test was negative. I felt so stupid. I wanted to cry. She said that I very well could be pregnant, and that if I haven't had my period by next week, that I should try another test or come back in.

What's so frustrating is that I've been told most of my life that I probably won't be able to have kids. Medical problems that I had as a child have been known to complicate a woman's ability to have children. I had pretty much accepted that...

But being late... and all this weird stuff. I am NEVER hungry when I wake up, ever. The last week though, I wake up hungry so I eat something. Two hours later (if even that), I am STARVING. Not just hungry, not just needing a snack... like, ravenously hungry. I'm tired by two in the afternoon (it used to be two in the morning)...

*sigh* I need hope. I know there's still a good chance (Joel is actually pretty convinced, I think), but today was SUCH a let down. I can't remember the last time I've been this... sad. Until all this, I didn't realize how much I wanted it. I wanted to be able to give my Mom a "Happy Birthday Grandma!" card tomorrow.

I got so carried away.

This sucks.

love, me

Ta-da!

2005-04-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

I am so happy! As you can tell, I decided to keep this design for myself (I hope that doesn't make me greedy). I really really like it. It causes problems with some of the pictures below, but I don't think it's hugely serious as long as I keep photo width down in the future.

Also, I decided to make the Fragrance of Life template available, too. I have a feeling designer-types might warn against that, but what the heck? I don't ask for payment, or even recognition of my templates, so who cares? I just would just like to provide nice templates for christians who want nice looking blogs to go along with their journal ministry. If you have any special requests, let me know.

I'm learning more and more about design. I just wish I had graphics design skills.

Oh- and props to Ashley at final-run.org for the awesome little smilies I'm using. Thanks so much! (Link to the right as well!)

Anyway kiddos, I'm kinda tired- also, I have to pee. Good night. Maybe I'll write later.

edit: After I posted this entry, I found out that the overflow of the too-large pictures was forcing the entire menu to go down and to the right of the last post at the very bottom of this page in internet explorer. I know some of you still use IE, so I couldn't just ignore it (a good designer wouldn't anyway. i'm a dork). So, I had to set the overflow property to "hidden," which means it clips off any content that tries to flow outside of the area it's supposed to fit in. If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, that's okay. If you want to see the pictures in all their glory, click here to see that post (the one with the pictures in them) on the old template in which they properly fit. Don't care? That's okay, too.

edit again: the above edit made the margins all crazy and my brain is too whacked to try and figure out why. I changed my settings so that only three entries are on one page. Problem solved. Grrr.

love, me

New design coming soon.

2005-04-10T23:12:00.000-07:00

I haven't decided if the new design will be for my own blog, or if it will be up for grabs. So far, no one has really shown serious interest in what I've put up, but I think this next one is the best one (at least, I like it the most).

Here's a screen shot (it's big!). It's nowhere near done. I don't have any special font style definitions or link colors or anything like that yet. Just a menu space and an entry space with a bunch of filler text.

EW! A bug!

Love you guys. Many blessings upon you!

love, me

Keri in dreamland

2005-04-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night (actually, I had several dreams) and I don't really feel like posting right now, but I better before I forget the dream.

The dream started out with me talking to an official type person at night in a desert type place (we were in a city square, a rural and un-developed city where all the buildings were made out of adobe). I knew I wasn't home- I was in a different world (kind of like your main character in Final Fantasy Tactics for Game Boy SP). The official was interrogating me and I wasn't really sure what he wanted to know because he was asking questions seemingly unrelated to anything specific. Looking around, I saw a lot of Christians I know who were as confused as I was, including some people that I didn't know were Christians, or had become Christians since I had last seen them.

The official let me go and I wandered around, I found some people that I knew who were also really disoriented and we formed an underground group. Apparently, it was against the law to be a Christian in this place, and the government was looking for a way to eliminate all of us.

One day, Krissy and I went to the local pool. We each picked out a pair of water sandals (they were made of plastic), and while I was still choosing mine (I ended up choosing blue ones that covered the toes), Krissy went out to the pool and started to walk on the water. She danced and laughed and splashed people by kicking the water. I looked at my sandals, and saw that they would allow me to do the same, but I was afraid to try it. I was afraid it wouldn't work for me.

People stood in the shadows and watched and whispered to one another. I didn't hear what they said.

After that, Christians couldn't go out in public. We were confined to the indoors. Since none of us lived in this world, we were forced to find people who had sympathy for our cause (most of whom were not yet believers) who would let us stay with them.

I found a home with an asian family. During the day, I was home alone with their daughter Xia (I don't remember the rest of her name). We became friends, but we were both afraid to get very close because of the "criminal nature" of my lifestyle and beliefs. People who were known to aid and abed Christians were severely punished.

The phone rang. When I answered, it was Stephen. He said, "You have about thirty minutes to get here, and about a minute to get out of there." They had begun rounding up the Christians, and non-believers who exposed the whereabouts of the Christians were being greatly rewarded. They were going to kill us. They were coming.

I hung up the phone and looked at Xia and said, "Would you ever betray me Xia? Do you love me?"

She claimed that she did, and we ran together. That's where the dream ended.

...

There are major spiritual implications to this dream. Feel free to leave a comment if you have something interesting to say. Or even if you don't.

love, me

Hello. My name is Loopy Liverfanny.

2005-04-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

Hi friends! My crazy name is not quite as crazy as it could be, but it certainly is funny! Follow the following directions- the first word is your first name, and the second two make up your last name! Leave a comment and tell me your crazy new name! (ps- I originally saw this on Jeff's blog.)

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = poopsie
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gadget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = giligan
i = chim-chim
j = stinky
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = tootie
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = chuckle
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = apple
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = sniffer
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = chunks
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = tush
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = head
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

:) Tom Brokaw's name is "Pinky Gizzard Butt." Right on. :)

love, me

Yearly update

2005-04-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

First (and least important), I am extremely disappointed that yesterday when I was shopping on iTunes for a new CD, I totally and completely forgot to buy FaceDown. I bought Building 429 instead. I am so sad. 429 is good, but if I had remembered FaceDown, I definitely would have gotten it. I am so lame. *exasperated sigh*

Joel, Jill, Paul and I all went to Van Nuys to visit my brother in law (Mark!) and his fiancee (Diana!). We had the best time! Here's a few pictures I took while we were visiting. :)

...........

Santa Monica Pier at sunset (click here to see a bigger version)

Mark and Diana at Pomodoro in Van Nuys

Joel and Me (we have big heads) at Pomodoro

Jill and Paul while we were in line for a ride at Santa Monica Pier

Jill, Paul and Joel looking up at the roller coaster

Diana and Mark looking way too cool :)
...........

Anyway... it was way fun! I had no idea Santa Monica Pier had a carnival type place on in. It was like going to the fair, only it wasn't 120 degrees! It was really muggy though. Anyway. :) Enjoy the pics.

love, me

Year of the Lord's Favor

2005-03-30T17:01:00.000-08:00

Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink--even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk--it's all free! Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen, and I will tell you where to get food that is good for the soul!

Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, for the life of your soul is at stake. I am ready to make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the mercies and unfailing love that I promised to David. He displayed my power by being my witness and a leader among the nations. You also will command the nations, and they will come running to obey, because I, the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.

Seek the LORD while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. Let the people turn from their wicked deeds. Let them banish from their minds the very thought of doing wrong! Let them turn to the LORD that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
Isaiah 55:1-7 [NLT]

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
Isaiah 61:1-3 [NIV]

Let no foreigner who has bound himself to the LORD say,
"The LORD will surely exclude me from his people."
And let not any eunuch complain,
"I am only a dry tree."

For this is what the LORD says:
"To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose what pleases me
and hold fast to my covenant-
to them I will give within my temple and its walls
a memorial and a name
better than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name
that will not be cut off.
And foreigners who bind themselves to the LORD
to serve him,
to love the name of the LORD ,
and to worship him,
all who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it
and who hold fast to my covenant-
these I will bring to my holy mountain
and give them joy in my house of prayer.
Their burnt offerings and sacrifices
will be accepted on my altar;
for my house will be called
a house of prayer for all nations."
The Sovereign LORD declares-
he who gathers the exiles of Israel:
"I will gather still others to them
besides those already gathered."
Isaiah 56:3-8

Come fallen ones
Dance in the healing stream
He has faithfully kept you
Brought you out of captivity
Rejoice with all your hearts
Sing Him a new song
That's heard high on the windswept mountains
It will resound

Lead, Lord, with unfailing love
Those that You have ransomed
And we will sing out as we go on
Our God is faithful, our God is faithful

Reflect on all your days
You weren't so free then
Once you were all called slaves
But now, blessed children
Move your feet
Dance before the Lord
On to the Promised Land
On to your reward, sing

Lead, Lord, with unfailing love
Those that You have ransomed
And we will sing out as we go on
Our God is faithful, our God is faithful

Our enemies are at the bottom of the sea, our enemies
our enemies are at the bottom of the sea!
Bethany Dillon, Exodus

God is so good, and eager to accept all of us if we are willing to draw near to Him- no matter who we are or what we've done. God is so faithful. Don't be afraid to approach Him if He is what you want!

love, me

I am not a judge

2005-03-27T20:08:00.000-08:00

I just talked to my pastor (should I be capitalizing that?)/group leader. Whenever I call him with a particular situation to talk about, I'm calling because I think I know the solution and I want to know what he thinks about what I think. I think that makes sense. :)

Basically, what we have to go over again and again (apparently I don't learn as quickly as I thought) is that we have to establish in concrete that the people we counsel understand what the Word of God has to say about their situation. When we counsel, we tend to say, "This is wrong and you should stop doing it," instead of, "Let's read the Word of God. What has this scripture said to you about God's desire for our lives?"

That opens up a lot of conversation about comprehending the Word of God and receiving wisdom and understanding via the Holy Spirit so that they can be personally convicted instead of someone telling them they should stop what they're doing because we "don't like it."

I don't know if that's a new concept to any of you, but it just blows my mind. I tend to assume that people understand universal truth and that things are as black and white to others as they are to me. I don't tend to think that I should use the Word of God to explain why lying is wrong. Doesn't everyone know that? Well, as Greg pointed out, people who have lying (or any sin) as a part of their lifestyle need more than someone telling them it's wrong in order to stop. The Word of God is fundamental in our being retrained in the area of sinful behavior. Until we care what God has to say, what other people have to say matters very little. Until we understand that God hates whatever sin we're dealing with, we're not willing to be changed by God, or we don't know He can change us or needs to change us. Crazy.

Anyway- about the title. Another important thing I learned from my conversation with Greg is that I judge without realizing it. The (very) basic point is that I need to know something for a fact before I act or confront someone. If someone is said to be lying, I need to have more evidence than hearsay that sin has taken place. I can ask that person if what I'm hearing is true, but I should never approach the situation by saying, "You're lying. You should stop because it's a sin. The Bible says..." blah blah blah." Doing that exacerbates the issue, especially if there was never an issue to begin with.

...

And about my new revelation from watching The Passion...

I've now seen "The Passion of the Christ" four times. The first time was rather tragic. For several months afterwards, I had a difficult time consciously and willingly accepting the gift of Jesus' sacrifice. I thought, "Jesus- that was horrible and I wasn't worth it. You didn't deserve it; please take it back. Make it like it never happened and let us all perish."

I know that's a horrible standpoint, but the suffering of Christ impacted me in a huge way. The movie did not portray even a percentage of what Jesus actually went through. At sunrise service this morning, the pastor who gave the message said that Josephus (the Jewish Historian of Christ's day) said that victims of scourging were so disfigured and their flesh so torn that you could literally see their internal organs. The cat-of-nine-tails would grab onto the person's flesh (skin and muscle) and tear it away, leaving everything underneath exposed. You could literally touch a person's lungs or kidneys or whatever. People who underwent Roman scourging were no longer human-looking.

In Mel Gibson's movie, he still looked pretty human hanging on that cross. Thank God we were spared of seeing what he really looked like- I couldn't have handled it.

Anyway- I struggled with that for a really long time. Watching it friday though, everytime someone hit him in the face, or spit on him... everytime I heard the tearing flesh and the dripping blood, I thought: "I love you, I love you, I love you Jesus. Thank you, thank you."

Big thing for me guys.

Be encouraged- Christ loves with wreckless abandon. Outrageous devotion. Infinite understanding. Deep compassion.

Your love is deep
Your love is high
Your love is long
Your love is wide

Deeper than my view of grace
Higher than this worldly place
Longer than this road I travel
Wider than the gap You filled

Who shall separate us
Who shall separate us from Your love
Nothing can separate us
Nothing can separate us from Your love
Jami Smith

"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God."
[Ephesians 3:16-19, NLT]

love, me

Yay Julieanne!

2005-03-26T00:11:00.000-08:00

First of all- kudos to Julieanne! She regularly comments on my blog and makes me feel super special. Thanks Julie. Everyone comment on Julie's blog and tell her how stupendous and awesome she is.

Julieanne rocks like um, a very large boulder!

That's a nice boulder. :) (Sorry- Shrek reference.)

So it's after midnight and I just got home from hanging out after group. It was AWESOME, with a capital "A". Yay! We only had one guy there who had never seen it (the Passion), and understandably he went home right after group- not exactly in the mood for socializing. The rest of us had each had new revelations and we were able to fellowship and laugh in light of God's grace and mercy and coolness. We ended up way hyper (weird considering what we had just watched and how we'd all been bawling!) and really, really enjoyed one another's company. Awe-semme. More on my cool revelation later...

Afterwards, we went to Denny's. I didn't buy anything (no money=no buying food) but Kristy shared her dinner with me, and Sarah gave me a crouton that fell off of her plate. Shucks. :)

We talked and laughed (a lot!) and had a great time.

The highlight of my day, however... was an opportunity that God presented and I took! Yay, God!

So here's the story:

The young adult group at our church meets every friday night at Greg's (7pm if you wanna come!). We talk and hang out there til about 9:30 or 10:00 (which is way too late for poor Greg) and then we all go to Denny's (because nowhere else is open that late in this little po-dunk town) and hang out and eat. It's great fun- and we've all had the opportunity to meet and talk to a particular waiter there. His name is Dan.

Dan is very talkative (maybe he talks too much for being at work) and has kind of a forward personality. That's not bad though; it instigates lots of interesting conversation and has allowed us to start some kind of friendship with him. He recognizes us when we come in and even though he can't always remember our names, we remember his and we talk and laugh together. He's not really a happy person, but he's very funny and could be a good friend.

Two weeks ago, he informed us that he had given his two week notice.Apparently working at Denny's really sucks. Tomorrow is his last day.

He was our waiter again tonight. We talked a little... and at the end, when we were leaving, God was prompting me to give him our (me and Joel's) phone number. I said, "If you ever just want to hang out, we all get together fairly often and it'd be cool to see you again." He said, "I can never remember your guys' names..."

I gave him my number and said, "I'm Keri... and I belong to Joel." (I wanted to make sure he knew I wasn't hitting on him!) He smiled at that and the waitress thought it was really cool that I introduced myself that way, even though Joel wasn't with us tonight (he watched the Passion with the youth). Dan said it'd be great to hang out, that he thought we were cool and we'd see eachother again. Yes!

Anyway, long story-->short, the ball is in Dan's court. Pray that God will prompt him to initiate a lasting friendship with all of us, and that we can somehow show him the love of God through our lives. He's a cool guy, and it would be neat to have a friend like him!

love, me

Hurrah for employment!

2005-03-25T16:47:00.000-08:00

So far, I am still employed. This is exciting, but kind of weird, too. I have "survivor's guilt." Three people were "laid off" today... none of which deserved to lose their jobs (in my humble opinion). They were good workers with good attitudes. No one explained how they were chosen.

We were all on the edge of our seats this morning. When we came in, we found out a lady who'd worked for JIT for quite awhile (and who knows a whole lot more about g-press machine operating than the rest of us) had been the first to go. She was literally the very last person I thought would be laid off. It made us realize that none of us were really "safe."

Because after all, she was on the "keepers" list, too. Yuck.

So all morning, we're all in mortal terror (well, not really)... being in fear of our jobs. It came to a point where I just had this say, "God- I know that you don't owe me anything. I don't deserve my job- I'm not perfect and certainly not better than anyone else. God, you know my heart and you know my needs. If losing my job is what I need- then that's what I want. But really, I kinda want to keep my job. Your will be done Father, not mine."

The whole thing put me in perspective. My life and my livelihood is on the edge of a knife... all God has to do is flick me off and I'm done. Good thing God prefers to sustain us!!! :) God provides in all ways, and he wanted to show me this week that I need to trust him. I'm just kinda glad he chose to show me that need by saving my job for me. :) He's so cool.

So pray for these people- there are four total. Judy, Franklin, Daniel and um... a lady whose name I don't remember. Dangit! I know her name...

shoot.

(bang.)

Anyway... today is Good Friday. I'm going to Greg's house tonight to watch the Passion of the Christ with a bunch of other church family peoples. I'm not really looking forward to it- at all. I've seen it three times already and I feel that same apprehension right now as I did before the first time I saw it. My stomach is kind of turning, and I'm trying to think of a good reason why I shouldn't have to go. Bleah. The fact that I don't want to go is probably a good indication that I should go.

Darn the Holy Spirit, always convicting me! (Just kidding! Really- that was a joke.)

Anyway... God is sooo awesome. Jillie and I are going to read through the crucifixion of Jesus from the gospel of John today. Then we'll be all prepared for tonight (not sure Jill's going to the one at Greg's though).

I love you guys. Have a great Easter weekend if I don't manage to post before sunday!

love, me

An attempt at a post.

2005-03-24T16:15:00.000-08:00

I sat down in front of the computer several times this week in order to post on my blog. I sit here (in my chair) and stare at the screen for a little while and realize that nothing very super exciting is going on in my life at the moment.

After reading Stephen's blog however, I realized that I don't need to have a mountain-moving day for me to have something to say. It's good to write about my life, even if it's not like, really interesting (not that Stephen's blog is uninteresting).

So here I am.

I was super tired this morning when I woke up, so I laid a little while and enjoyed quietness (have I told you we got rid of the parakeets? they were evil. if demons can go into swine, then I suppose it would be entirely possible for them to reside in small birds. i hate(d) those parakeets with a passion!). I wasn't able to go back to sleep, but it was nice anyway.

Work was generally good. I've been doing all of the re-work for all of wire processing (that's the team I'm on) this week. Re-work is when someone makes a mistake and you have to fix it. I don't mind doing my own re-work, but it kinda sucks when you have to fix other people's careless mistakes. On a positive note, I've been able to practice self-control and have a (mostly) good attitude all week, despite the tedious conditions.

On a not-so-good note, there are semi-substantiated "rumors" that lay-off season is at hand. My boss said that they're taking names of "keepers." I don't 100% trust my boss- mostly because she'll tell you what you want to hear, so I'm not quite sure how much of what she told me is valid. I do know that a lot of changes have been made and that there were a lot of meetings today-- count 'em: three. She also said 7 people were laid off today with more to follow.

She told me I was on the "keeper" list, but again- I'll believe it when I'm not laid off.

Pray for my job security- I *need* my job. Really, really.

...

We're watching the Passion of the Christ tomorrow night at Greg's house. I'm not really looking forward to it. I've got the same feeling I had before I saw it the first time- don't want to see it, but I know I should. It's a good reminder of what it is that Jesus went through to give us all an opportunity to come to the Father. Heh... Paul (my brother-in-law) said, "His disciples only had to watch him die once!" I feel the same way, brother. I'm not stoked. At all.

God is so good though! He's really been taking care of Joel and I in our finances. It's hard to support yourself and be a responsible adult. Joel and I have made some changes and we've been trying to be better about money (can't eat out very often- talk about discipline!) and spending in general. We had a talk the other night about what it would take for us to be "financially comfortable" so that we could save for that time when I won't be able to work because of kids...

don't worry- I'm not pregnant. :)

Anyway... Easter blessings on all of you. I'll try to post more.

love, me

Wow- it's late.

2005-03-19T01:01:00.000-08:00

I really do need to apologize for being so lame about posting lately. I mean, even when I do post (which isn't quite as often as I'd like- although I post more often than some of you!), it's a pretty lame attempt at being humorous or deep or just stupid.

So, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Sadly, I don't know that this quest for forgiveness can be called "repentance" because I'm not actually changing my behavior (yet); I'm too tired to post anything substancial tonight.

Sorry for being lame. Again.

Anyway- in other good news, I'm working on a website design to present to my pastor for our church site (we don't have one yet). It's not anything special (yet) mostly because it has to be functional before it can be pretty.

Here's a screen shot (it's huge- big enough to be a desktop image).

Also, pray for our meeces. One of the babies escaped and we don't know where it is. I think that's mostly a prayer request for us, not so much the mouse-- it would suck to have like, a not-so-living baby mouse in our apartment stinking things up. Let's hope we find the little guy alive and well.

love, me

LOL

2005-03-16T16:42:00.000-08:00

If you know me... and esPECIALLY if you were in band with me *cough*Stephen/Aaron*cough*... this is particularly funny. Quiz es muy bueno.

You scored as Conductor. You're not a section at all; you're the conductor! You keep everyone playing together and listen for parts that need to be tweaked. Everyone seems to follow you, for you're the leader, and although it can be very frustrating at times, you excel in this position. You and your band codepend on each other, as with no musicians, you would make no music, and with no conductor, they would descend into chaos. Keep up the good work and hold that baton high.

Conductor

80%

High Brass

63%

Auxillary Percussion

63%

Woodwinds

57%

Strings

50%

Percussion

40%

Low Brass

40%

Low Woodwinds

33%

Which musical section do you belong in?
created with QuizFarm.com

love, me

Easter is coming!

2005-03-15T17:09:00.000-08:00

There is a fountain filled with blood
drawn from Emmanuel's veins;
and sinners plunged beneath that flood
lose all their guilty stains.
William Cowper, 1731-1800

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:6-8,[NIV]

I'm still at the point where I'm in awe of Good Friday. I mean- Easter is great (and I think the Resurrection is definitely as important as the sacrifice, if not more- for sure), but I'm just amazed by Jesus' faithfulness. God can do whatever he wants- I'm not really surprised that God raised Jesus from the dead (that's nothin' for God!)... but what it took for the HUMAN Jesus to willingly go to the cross-- wow.

So, Good Friday is still my favorite. Maybe Easter will take that place sometime soon (heh, when I grow up some :), but I'm still diggin' Good Friday.

And hey- this is some neat reading I found online! Archeological/Historical evidence matches up perfectly with accounts of the new testament- even accounts of Jesus and his crucifixion. Way cool.

ps- I HATE blogger's wysiwyg editor! There. I feel better. *sigh* I wish I had my own webspace to host my blog on!

love, me

Comfort and Compassion

2005-03-14T22:41:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was reading a post by a Pastor of some church (I'm sorry- I don't think I saved the address :( ). This pastor quoted "PreachingNow," a newsletter written especially for pastors. The topic of conversation really intrigued me (the style of preaching and how it has changed over time. Sadly, pastors preach less and less from the Word of God these days) and so I decided to subscribe to this newsletter- just for some interesting reading and maybe some encouragement in my personal-peer ministry (not specifically pastoral).

Anyway- This was in my e-mail box today. It's great and it makes a lot of sense. We wonder why we have difficulty reaching unbelievers in our lives. Paul tells us how to do it: "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some." [1 Corinthians 9:19-22]

So... here's part of the newsletter...

In 1873, a Belgian priest named Joseph Damien De Veuster was sent to minister to lepers on the Hawaiian Island of Molokai, but the people there shunned him. No one responded to his ministry. After twelve years, Father Damien decided to leave.

As he made his way to the docks to board a ship, he wrung his hands in despair. As he did so, he noticed some mysterious white spots and felt some numbness. He realized he had contracted leprosy.

When he returned to the leper colony, word of his disease quickly spread. Hundreds gathered outside his hut, understanding his pain. But the biggest surprise was the following Sunday. As Father Damien arrived at the chapel, he found hundreds of worshipers there. By the time the service began, there were many more with standing room only; and many gathered outside the chapel. His ministry became enormously successful. The reason? He was one of them. He understood and empathized with them.

Perhaps God is permitting you to pass through a storm or sorrow that you might later be a blessing to others. We comfort others best when we have ourselves been comforted by the God of all comfort. (Turning Point Daily Devotional, 3-9-05)

Even now, I'm having an amazing revelation. I've been going through something not-so-fun lately, and today I had an opportunity to minister to someone going through something similar. I don't know if I did very well, but it was neat to mourn with her. I didn't realize until a second ago that we had that in common (duh!).

I thank God for the opportunities he sends my way- even if I don't recognize them or do so well at them. Yay ministry practice!

love, me

1 John 1:5-7

2005-03-13T22:06:00.000-08:00

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

1 John 1:5-7, [NIV]

I have really been meditating on this passage.

Lately [within the last 6 months], I have had the opportunity to learn/grow/practice in the area of ministry in counseling. It's something that we focused a lot on in school of leaders III (gotta love discipleship training!) and something that God has definitely given me opportunity to practice. Counseling is something that I always thought myself to be good at- as far as giving friends advice and stuff, even when I was an unbeliever. Since I've become a believer though, I know that God has specifically given me a gift of compassion for those who are hurting around me- especially other Christians (heh- this did NOT happen over night, believe me).

Anyway. These opportunities have come through a specific group of people that I've become close to in the last few months. The challenges have involved creating a specific plan for growth and repentance. The most difficult part about providing a Biblical plan for healing to a person who is relatively weak in the faith is watching that person fail- or at least, appear to fail.

And this is where that scripture comes in. I regularly need to pray for discernment in the area of understanding the spiritual maturity/lack thereof of the people that I counsel. I often get discouraged when people know the right thing to do but fail to do it. Are they Christians with re-occuring weakness[es]? Or people who "have a form of godliness" but ultimately deny the ability of God to do great works and therefore are unable to put their trust in Him and obey Him?

[It is necessary to say that I myself cannot be labeled as a person who always knows what is good and does it... or even that I always know what is good. In this particular issue, the question is this: is the tree good? or bad?]

The answer to this question ultimately effects my counsel to the particular person. Instead of a "learning how to let God fix the problem" conversation, me may need to have a "Let's change our understand of God based on His Word" conversation.

All wrong thinking begins with wrong thinking about God.

Anyway- if you could pray for my gift in this area- that God would develop it and give me wisdom to lead his people according to the measure of my faith and his appointment... and that the lives of those I counsel would ultimately glorify Him by following the direction of the Word of God.

I don't if any of that made sense in relation to the scripture I posted at the top... but I get it in my head. Really, I do.

love, me

Beautiful Surrender

2005-03-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

In high school, I listened to a band called Portishead- a secular band [un]known for their bizarre/unique sound and style. I really liked them although most people considered them weird. They were by no means mainstream.

Recently I've discovered a band called MUTEMATH. For some reason, their sound reminded me of Portishead, although it's really not all that similar. What made the correlation I think, was their ability to produce unorthodox sound- not only that, but they do it well. The song that you may be familiar with is "Control."

Take control of the atmosphere
take me far away from here
there is no better loss than to lose myself in you
in a parachute to glide I am captive in your sky
surrender has somehow become so beautiful

Anyway, if you have a chance, follow this link and check out their website- it plays background music with most of their first album. I have a feeling that you're either gonna love it, or hate it.

:) I hope you like it. My favorite song so far is "Peculiar People." Right on raggae.

So anyway, I added their link over on the left.

...
It's weird thinking of all those old bands that I used to listen to. It reminds me of the person I was when I was in high school- how different I am now. Portishead lyrics are full of hopelessness and I remember identifying with them. Somehow being melancholy was cool, although I don't think I practiced that as a rule- not consciously anyway.

The lowest point of my life was when I was dating Erin (yes, I know his name is spelled like the girl version), and he was gone away at school for most of the year. I was desperately in love and we weren't able to correspond often. I remember feeling lost, unloved, afraid, lonely and desperate. I remember staying up all night watching movies and crying, finally going outside to watch the sunrise after not sleeping.

Even when I became a christian shortly thereafter, I remember being afraid of being alone knowing that God wanted me to end the relationship because of the godlessness of it.

It's amazing- how when I first came to believe, there was a lot that God and I disagreed on, but I couldn't just walk away because I had experienced first-hand that God was real. I fought with God a lot, and I learned to give in. Erin and I broke up.

To this day I miss him... I miss this great friend. He tried to hold me up when I didn't know to look to God for sustaining. Now I know that in reality, he never could have done that.

Humans in this polluted world grasp desperately for a stay of execution in things that only dull the pain in the end.

There's a better solution.

love, me

Baby Mouse picture!

2005-03-09T16:51:00.000-08:00

Awww! They're so cute! They have hair now... and their eyes are *almost* open! Yay!
Here's a decent picture of one of them (heh- they all look exactly alike). Look how tiny!

Precious!

love, me

Anyone want a nifty looking blog?

2005-03-08T20:42:00.000-08:00

*sniff*

love, me

Jesus and cookies. In that order...

2005-03-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

I love God so much. He's a really cool guy!

Through several situations lately, God has been doing everything He can to show us 1) How much He loves us, and 2) How much we need to grow to be more like Him. When life gets difficult, it's time to ask God what he wants to teach you through the circumstances. I stopped asking, "Why me?" a long time ago.

So here's the story. Joel was very frustrated when he was balancing the check book one day (aren't most people?). He's been constantly frustrated that we don't really have any money left over after the bills are paid and everything. We were eating out a LOT. We never felt like going to grocery store (that meant spending an hour shopping after a long day and not getting home til nine, which meant not eating til 10 or 10:30. Not our idea of a good way to end a long, tiring day). Anyway, so we'd end up just picking up something on the way home from church or music practice or whatever. Eventually, it got to the point where we never had any money, OR food in the house. The only places that were open after nine in our little town is either fast food or Denny's (if I have to eat another burger from Jack In the Box, I'm gonna cry).

So not only did we not have any money, but we were really tired of the nasty not-good-for-you food that we were having to eat.

Joel was really grumpy by the time he finished doing the check book that night. We didn't have any money at all. So, I typed up a covenant: a promise to God and to eachother, that we would only eat out once a week and that the amount spent on eating out weekly would not exceed $30. We both read it carefully, prayed about it and signed it.

So we were pretty excited about how much money we were going to save and be able to put IN savings.

And then the bank statements arrived.

When we get the bank statements, Joel will go through them to make sure that there's nothing in our check register that we missed or recorded incorrectly. We were 3 statements (3 months) behind in doing this, and that meant that our check book was probably off. We didn't realize that we'd be $50 dollars off. There were a few (count them- FIVE) receipts that were never recorded. So instead of having $0.25- we had -$50.00. Sucks.

Then one of us had a really short paycheck and after paying rent, we had like two dollars left. Joel has been feeling really frustrated- like he's not doing his job and we don't have as much money as other people do...

And what it came down to is this: if everyone died tonight- we'd have as much money in our pockets as everyone else. God is not concerned with how much money we have but how we use it. We had made big steps in correcting our sin in this area, and it was time to face the consequences of that sin; however, God has been honored by our faithfullness to this covenant that we've made. God isn't just standing over us waiting to punish us for every little thing we've done wrong. He wants us to succeed and he wants to bless us.

It's time for us to stop pitying ourselves and realize that God wants to use these situations to make us more like Christ. If we refuse to learn the lesson, then we get to go through it again. None of us want that. It's not fun. Instead of lamenting that we don't have any money, it's time to cinch in our belts and learn how to rely on God with joy in our hearts!

Anyway- that was a whole lot of talking about something you're probably not interested in- but hey! This is MY blog! I can say whatever I want :)

So, other things have been going well. My dentist is also a good friend of mine that comes to our church, and she's been a huge blessing. I had some work done the other day (paid for it with our last dime, too!) and because she knew that we were kinda hurtin', she gave us a big ol' discount on what I had done. I LOVE GOD (and my dentist!) so much! He is so cool. God wants to give us hope and he uses stuff like that to do it. He's so cool! Plus, I have two less cavities. Yee-haw!

How do we show gratitude to God and people when they do such great things for us? I mean, how could I possibly endeavor to give something to God when he already has everything? Ah- there's the catch. God has everything He could want- and all He wants is Us!

As for my dentist... I hear she likes peanut butter cookies (bleagh). I might have to wrestle me up a batch. *L*

Anyway... God is cool.

love, me

sadness/hopefulness?

2005-03-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

Today has been an eventful day.

Joel text messaged me at about 3-ish. He said he found a nest with little baby mice under the hood of a truck he was working on. As soon as the mother saw him, she ran off.

So now Joel's feeling sorry for these TINY baby mice (four of them). He takes the next and puts it in a box and puts that box in his tool box.

After much discussion and a call to the Pet Department, I went there after work, bought a mother mouse complete with milk, and some little supply type stuff.

Now they're all together in this little cage thing, and we're crossing our fingers and dotting our "i"'s that maybe she'll nurse them. It's now six pm, and I don't think she's nursed them yet. I'm a little concerned, cos when they come near (which they barely are able to do- that's how young they are) she like twitches and walks to the other side of the little cage thing.

I hope the little guys make it. They're so cute!

They're so young that they don't have hair, their ears and eyes aren't open yet! They squeak though. That's pretty cute.

The guy at the Pet Department said that mice are pretty good at being surrogate parents. I hope this works!!!

love, me

Deliverance comforts the seeking

2005-03-01T20:23:00.000-08:00

Hi friends. This is my second post for the day.

I just wanted to say that God is pretty darned awesome. His word is amazing.

I... am not. Heh. I've made some pretty stupid mistakes in the last few days, but there have been some really neat victories too. The relentless truth is this: that God desires to dwell in the hearts of his people, and that the blood of Christ covers over a multitude of sin. What does that mean? That God can and indeed DOES dwell in the hearts of his people. Thank you, Jesus.

A song has really been amazing me lately. It's "The Mighty Power of the Cross," by Chris Tomlin. It's beautiful...

What can take a dying man and raise him up to life again?
What can heal a wounded soul?
What can make us white as snow?
What can fill the emptiness?
What can mend our brokenness?
Brokenness

Mighty, awesome, wonderful
Is the holy cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life
To lift us from the fall
Mighty is the power of the cross

What restores our faith in God?
What reveals the Father's love?
What can lead the wayward home?
What can melt a heart of stone?
What can free the guilty ones
What can save and overcome?
Overcome

It's still a miracle to me
It's still a mystery
It's still a miracle to me
The power of God
For those who believe

Reading it doesn't do the justice that listening to it does. It's beautiful. It just says over and over: there's nothing that can do what the cross does. It changes us and makes us new- acceptable! Hehe- remember in "The Terminal," when Victor is "unnacceptable!" Funny stuff.

Anyway. Keep on keepin' on. Encourage one another. We all need it. Yay Jesus!

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

[Psalm 73:25,26], NIV

love, me

Templates!

2005-03-01T16:28:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! I decided to start designing templates for people to use on their blogs for free! I did the first two today. One's called "Beautiful Surrender" and the other is "Unfailing Love." They're nifty!

What I'm gonna do is create a new blog for every design I create. At the bottom of the menu to the right, there is a sub-heading called, "Need a template?" Under that sub-heading is a list of links to the different blogs where you can see the template design, along with directions on how to get that template. I haven't decided if I'm gonna require a link back to me or not. I guess I'll think about it.

This is going to be muy fun for me because it will give me a chance to get creative juices flowing. I'm totally stoked. I hope you guys will want to take part in them. If you want anything special, you can suggest something too!

I love you guys! You're great!

love, me

New Layout... Finally!

2005-02-28T21:30:00.000-08:00

Wow, you guys! It's done! The new design is finally finished.

Today marks the end of a long hard battle. First and foremost, I think I finally understand how to use CSS instead of tables. I've been working on figuring that out for two years probably (maybe?) and it's always eluded me. Finally though, I *think* I get it. If this page looks all funky and not right, maybe I should take that statement back. Let me know if everything lines up and looks pretty. It looks okay in IE and Mozilla (which is an incredible miracle, by the way) but I don't know about Netscape and I know for a fact that old browsers probably won't render this right. If you have an old browser, go here and get FireFox/Mozilla for free. It's safer and also, free. *grin*

Second, I had this designed BEAUTIFULLY, and then I uploaded it to Blogger. It looked HORRID. I'm not sure why, but it wasn't nice. I played around with it for HOURS and now it works. Hopefully (see above paragraph).

In any case, it's the most visually complex design I've ever done. I think it looks nice, and I hope you like it. It's purple-y. I was gonna do red-ish, but I decided purple=royalty=triumphal procession better. :)

Also, more links are coming soon. Aren't you stoked?

love, me

ick.

2005-02-26T00:22:00.000-08:00

New design up soon. Too tired to figure out why it's not rendering right.

Night!

love, me

Smell the Fragrance of Life

2005-02-22T18:08:00.000-08:00

He provided redemption for his people;
he ordained his covenant forever-
holy and awesome is his name.

[Psalm 111:9]

The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

How Great Is Our God, Chris Tomlin: Arriving

One and only King, we worship at your feet
Holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who demolishes mountains
and erects the lowly cross
where sorrows multiply saving grace
and bonds are cast away with crowns

Father, the One called beautiful
your love abounds, draws us in
into your arms we come, singing:
"O nations, smell the fragrance of life
pouring from the wounded hands of Love!
Holy is the Lamb that was slain!"

Where death and sorrow grow
and stains the soul make black
the empty tomb on the third day cries,
"Be not afraid! Your hope is risen-
the glory of the Lord revealed!
Worship the Lamb, the Sacrifice made King!"

by me

.....

I wish I could write poetry that rhymes. Every now and then, I get a good rhyme in- but then it makes the rest of it (which I can't rhyme) look lame. Oh well. God loves it, I hope!

I just bought the new Chris Tomlin CD- Arriving. It's beautiful.

Jesus Rocks.

love, me

Bound 4 Life

2005-02-21T21:23:00.000-08:00

Born after January 22, 1973 -- Lou Engle -- November 12, 2004

50 million of your brothers and sisters have been stolen from you. They have been ripped apart from their mother's womb and refused their chance to dream. These victims were denied the chance to be a voice. Because of their senseless massacre, justice lays slain in clean, anesthetized, stainless-steel death chambers. The silent screams of your comrades have gone unheard - thoroughly muffled by the sharp, cold steel of the abortionist's knife and the agonizing burning fire of a lethal chemical bath. Yet the Church, who is called to be a voice of justice in the face of oppression, has been consigned to the role of "the arch defender of the status quo." Veritably, in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, "Far from being disturbed by the presence of the Church, the power structures of the average community are consoled by the church's silent-and often even vocal-sanction of things as they are."

31 years ago, the Supreme Court legalized and, in a sense, invited a culture of death through Roe v. Wade. 31 years is too long! Even one day of the shedding of innocent blood is too long. It is too long for the God whose heart is devastated at the very moment of His highest creative intimacy. Over all life, the Heavenly Father declared, "I formed you in your mother's womb, before you were born I knew you [intimately knew you]." For a generation marked by death, it has been too long and too long for America.

Thomas Jefferson, one of the architects of our Founding Documents, once said, "Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, and that his justice can not sleep forever." In the same vein, the Scriptures unequivocally declare that "He who sheds innocent blood, his blood will be shed." It is clear that God judges nations and people and is specific in His plan for punishment of the wicked and morally defiled. For, "since you have not hated bloodshed, bloodshed shall pursue you." Today, the blood of the 45 million slaughtered babies pursues America.

____________________________
Please visit this link and start praying!

love, me

God is sooo amazing!

2005-02-18T16:30:00.000-08:00

I was just reading in Romans, right? It's so awesome! I am so so so intrigued by God's love and faithfulness to Israel, how they are set apart and God's chosen... and that by grace and mercy God has allowed us (gentiles) to be recipients of His grace also.

Anyway... so I'm reading, and I'm just totally LOVING God's Word.

Then the phone rings.

I run and get it... and it's my MOM!

WOW! "Hi, Mom!"

So she goes, "I'm calling to access your Bible expertise."

I almost choked on my apple juice and fell out of my shoes (I wasn't wearing shoes, actually. nevermind).

"Um, okay. Go for it."

She goes, "Well, I'm driving and there's this car in front of me that has a bumper sticker that says, 'John 3:16.' What's that?"

Immediately I recited, "For God so loved the word that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

Mom goes, "Wow. You didn't even have to look it up!"

I told her that it's practically required for Christians to have that one memorized. :) She laughed.

But it's SO AWESOME that God placed that car in front of her, and that He also placed in her a desire to know what the Word of God said! I really hope that it sinks in, and that God's sacrifice makes a statement in her heart, even if it's only subconscious.

Pray for my Mom!

love, me

A deep post?

2005-02-17T16:50:00.000-08:00

I don't have anything SUPER significant to say today. Just a few kind of neat things :)

First, Joel and I got a new refridgerator! This is SUPER awesome! The manager took one look at the old one and said, "Yep. You need a new fridge."

THANK YOU JESUS! :)

We also got our kitchen faucet and our hall light replaced. God is awesome.

Also, God has been working on me and my attitude lately. I'm not very good at loving my enemies, and God knows this all too well. Last week's episode at church was a good example of that. Plus, there was this lady at work (the one person in my life I can think of that I don't like- at all) who is just irritating and GRRR! She's really good at provoking and annoying me.

God told me to pray for her today when she harrassed me. Thank you Lord, for changing me! Maybe my heart and emotions will follow up with that soon. I hope so!

Have a blessed day!
love, me

Prayer request

2005-02-14T22:03:00.000-08:00

Alrighty. Well, unfortunately I have not had very much time lately- for much of anything. I find that I am really busy and I need to prioritize and figure out how to fit everything in.

Yay for time management!

Anyway- I was just posting because I have a prayer request.

I need you guys to really pray for PRCC. I won't go into detail, but basically something happened this last sunday that really discouraged me. It wasn't Greg, or the message... it was the people.

Pray for revival and for the Holy Spirit.

Thanks you guys.

love, me

The blood of Jesus

2005-02-08T16:53:00.000-08:00

Hear, O heavens! Listen, O earth!
For the Lord has spoken:
"I reared children and brought them up,
but they have rebelled against me.
The ox knows his master,
the donkey his owner's manager,
but Israel does not know,
my people do not understand.

Ah, sinful nation,
a people loaded with guilt,
a brood of evildoers,
children given to corruption!
They have forsaken the Lord;
they have spurned the Holy One of Israel
and turned their backs on him.

Why should you be beated anymore?
Why do you persist in rebellion?
Your whole head is injured,
your whole heart afflicted.
From the sole of your foot to the top
of your head
there is no soundess-
only wounds and welts and open sores,
not cleaned or bandaged
or soothed with oil.

[Isaiah 1:2-6],NIV

Jotham was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem sixteen years. His mother's name was Jerusha daughter of Zadok. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, just as his father Uzziah had done, but unlike him he did not enter the temple of the Lord. The people however, continued their corrupt practices.

[2 Chronicles 27:1-2], NIV

Ahaz was twenty years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem sixteen years. Unlike David his father, he did not do what was right in the eyes of the Lord. He walked in the ways of the kings of Israel and also made cast idols for worshiping the Baals. He burned sacrifices in the Valley of Ben Hinnom and sacrificed his sons in the fire, following the detestable ways of the nations the Lord had driven out before the Israelites. He offered sacrifices and burned incense at the high places , on the hilltops and under every spreading tree.

Therefore the Lord his God handed him over to the king of Aram. The Arameans defeated him and took many of his people as prisoners and brought them to Damascus.

He was also given into the hands of king of Israel, who inflicted heavy casualities on him. In one day Pekah son of Remaliah killed a hundred and twenty thousand soldiers in Judah- because Judah had forsaken the Lord, the God of their fathers. Zicri, and Ephraimite warrior, killed Maaseiah the king's son, Azrikam the officer in charge of the palace, and Elkanah, second to the king. The Israelites took captive from their kinsmen two hundred thousand wives, sons and daughters. They also took a great deal of plunder, which they carried back to Samaria.

[2 Chronicles 28:1-8],NIV

In his time of trouble King Ahaz became even more unfaithful to the Lord. He offered sacrifices to the gods of Damascus, who had defeated him; for he thought, "Since the gods of the kings of Aram have helped them, I will sacrifice to them so they will help me." But they were his downfall and the downfall of all Israel.

Ahaz gathered together the furnishings from the temple of God and took them away. He shut the doors of the Lord's temple and set up altars at every street corner in Jerusalem. In every town in Judah he built high places to burn sacrifices to other gods and provoked the Lord, the God of his fathers, to anger.

[2 Chronicles 28:22-25], NIV

Our fathers were unfaithful; they did evil in the eyes of the Lord our God and forsook him. They turned their faces away from the Lord's dwelling place and turned their backs on him. They also shut the doors of the portico and put out the lamps. They did not burn incense or present any burnt offerings at the sanctuary to the God of Israel. Therefore, the anger of the Lord has fallen on Judah and Jerusalem; he has made them an object of dread and horror and scorn, as you can see with your own eyes. This is why our fathers have fallen by the sword and why our sons and daughters and our wives are in captivity. Now I intend to make a covenant with the Lord, the God of Israel, so that his fierce anger will turn away from us. My sons, do not be negligent now, for the Lord has chosen you to stand before him and serve him, to minister before him and to burn incense.

[2 Chronicles 29:6-11], NIV

Let us turn to God and cry out to him for the salvation of our nation! We are a nation filled with great prosperity, but we sacrifice our children on altars in abortion clinics, and shut the doors of God's house by telling our children that God isn't allowed in school; it is because of the Lord's great compassion for his people that we are not all utterly destroyed and made desolate.

We live in a time when the name of the Lord is considered profane by the ungodly. Let us all preach the glorious kingdom of heaven, and may the only Son of God, Jesus Christ, shine in us and through us. May the multitudes know the Father.

Restore your name in the sight of the godless, oh Lord! Use us, and make your people a mighty nation, bowing down to you and being consecrated as living sacrifices given to the Name Above All Names! Remove from us our evil thoughts and ways, and restore us to yourself. Make us new Father, and keep us from the enemy who seeks to devour us, the enemy of our souls.

The blood of Jesus Christ comes against this enemy, and defeats him again, and again. He is defeated and laid low, and our feet trample him asunder. We dance on this corpse, and worship you, Almighty God.

BE GLORIFIED! BE GLORIFIED!

Their starry host

2005-02-07T21:01:00.001-08:00

"Stand up and praise the Lord your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting."

"Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise. You alone are the Lord. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you."

[Nehemiah 9:5-6], NIV

YOUR BELOVED

Lord it was you
You created the heavens
Lord it was your hands
That put the stars in their place
Lord it was your voice
That commands the morning
Cause even oceans and their waves bow at your feet
Oh God

Lord who am I
Compared to your glory
Lord who am I
Compared to your majesty

Cause I'm your beloved
Your creation
And you love me as I am
You call me chosen
For your kingdom
Unashamed to call me your own
Cause I'm your beloved

Lord it was you
You created the heavens
Lord it was your hands
That put the stars in their place
Lord it is your voice
That commands the morning
Cause even oceans and their waves bow at your feet
Oh God

written by Brent Helming

....................
Oh God, if the oceans bow
and the stars confess your great name
who am I to deny you worship
I, who am loved and called by name
called by your voice
called by the blood

love, me

The bravest of all brave deeds.

2005-02-05T13:04:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those moments when there's just a little bit of milk left in the jug, and it's almost the expiration date? And you cautiously open the cap and smell the milk to see if it's still good?

I had that moment this morning. The only problem is that I can't smell anything. I have the most plugged-upped-est nose ever. As I was sharing with my brother in-law on the phone this morning, I can only blow my nose when I sneeze because that's the only time I have enough force to get anything out.

Okay, well- that was funnier the first time I said it. Anyway.

So I tried to smell the milk. What I *think* I smelled seemed to smell okay, but I wasn't sure. So, being the brave little toaster I am, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and poured milk into it. I know- I should have tasted it first... but have you ever had rotten milk by itself?? Nasty. I was willing to waste the cereal if I had to in order to avoid that.

It seems okay. Apple Jacks aren't as good as Fruit Loops, but that's all we have. *sniffle* Better than Grape Nuts.

Anyway! Group was pretty cool last night! We went to Dave and Krissy's new house to annoint it and bless it, and to have our regular group time there. It was really neat. We talked about worship... and how it is that we know that we are worshipping the way that God wants us to. In Romans 12, it says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship." The idea is that our whole selves are to be offered to God- and that worship is a way of living.

Because we see Jesus to be the King, the Servant, the Son of Man... and because we remember all of the wonderful, powerful things he's done in respect to those roles, it's easier to worsip him as Jesus, the Son of God- Jesus, God.

We talked about that for awhile (it was really awesome) and then we all prayed over the new house, and Dave and Krissy, and the kids and Carol (Krissy's Mom is living with them)... that this new home would be a place of worship, a place where the Lord Most High dwells, like how the cloud descended on the Tabernacle when God dwelled there. We prayed especially for Dave, that he would be the spiritual head of the household, and that he would lead his whole family to love and worship the Lord the way that the jailer did.

Afterwards, we talked about Napoleon Dynamite for awhile (yesssss!) with Greg. Greg is our pastor (if you didn't know) and he's quite grown up. He didn't appreciate Napoleon the way that the rest of us did, but he did admit to chuckling occasionally. Awesome. I haven't told Joel yet that I think Napoleon would be a great name for our first-born son. *chuckle*

Then we all went our seperate ways... but as Joel and I were dropping off our rental at Hollywood Video, Jill called and wanted to know if we could join her and Paul at Denny's for dinner. Right on! We went and talked and had fun. We eventually ate, too.

Then we came home and I collapsed on the bed.

Yay collapsing!

love, me

What the Father had me read today (in order)

2005-02-04T15:58:00.000-08:00

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

He called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out evil spirits and to heal every disease and sickness.

[Matthew:9:35-10:1], NIV

Then the chieft priests and the Pharisees called a meeting of the Sanhedrin.

"What are we accomplishing?" they asked. "Here is this man performing many miraculous signs. If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation."

Then one of them, named Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, spoke up, "You know nothing at all! You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish."

He did not say this on his own, but as high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the Jewish nation, and not only for that nation but also for the scattered children of God, to bring them together and make them one. So from that day on they plotted to take his life.

[John 11:47-53], NIV

Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the Feast. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, with a request. "Sir," they said, "we would like to see Jesus." Philip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus.

Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernell of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servants also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it and will glorify it again."

[John 12:20-28],NIV

At daybreak the council of the elders of the people, both the chief priests and teachers of the law, met together, and Jesus was led before them. "If you are the Christ," they said, "tell us."

Jesus answered, "If I tell you, you will not believe me, and if I asked you, you would not answer. But from now on, the Son of Man will be seated at the right hand of the mighty God."

They all asked, "Are you then the Son of God?"

He replied, "You are right in saying I am."

Then they said, "Why do we need any more testimony? We have heard it from his own lips."

Then the whole assembly rose and led him off to Pilate. And they began to accuse him, saying, "We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Christ, a king."

So Pilate asked Jesus, "Are you king of the Jews?"

"Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied.

[Luke 22:66-23:3], NIV

It was the third hour when they crucified him. The written notice of the charge against him read: THE KING OF JEWS. They crucified two robbers with him, one on his right and one on his left. Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, "So! You who are going to destroy the temple and built it in three days, come down from the cross and save yourself!"

In the same way the chieft priests and the teachers of the law mocked him among themselves. "He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! Let this Christ, this King of Israel come down now from the cross, that we may see and believe." Those crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"- which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

When some of those standing near heard this, they said, "Listen, he's calling Elijah."

One man ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink. "No leave him alone. Let's see if Elijah comes to take him down," he said.

With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last.

The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, said, "Surely this man was the Son of God!"

[Mark 15:25-39], NIV

Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen!"

[Mark 16:2-6], NIV

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation- if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

[Colossians 1:21-23], NIV
.................................................

Jesus, you are our great, and humble King. You came not to be served, but to serve. Jesus, I worship you. Jesus, I am unworthy- except by your blood. I come to speak to the King, and I am welcomed as a friend because of your fragrance.

Thank you. Thank you for the blood that you shed.

Your will be done on earth- in me, as it is in heaven. May I lay aside my own agendas and worship you only God.

I choose to be a slave to righteousness.

We all serve a master, God. Many serve the enemy, though they are unaware of their bondage. I serve you, a master overflowing with loving kindness. Bless the generations to come with your spirit, mighty God- and may you be known amongst them because of me. I will work your fields.
Time for the harvest is near.

love, me

This morning's message

2005-01-30T22:50:00.000-08:00

This morning's message was wonderful. Greg spoke on the different emphasis in each gospel... how each of the gospels present Christ from a different viewpoint.

Matthew: Christ, the King
"Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we saw His star in the east and have come to worship Him."
[Matthew 2:2], NAS

Mark: Christ, the Servant
"Whoever wants to become great among you will be your servant. Whoever wants to be most important among you will be the slave for everyone. It's the same way with the Son of Man. He didn't come so that others could serve him. He came to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many people."
[Mark 10:43-45], GW

Luke: Christ, the Human
"While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn."
[Luke 2:6-7], NIV

"For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."
[Luke 19:10], NAS

John: Christ, God
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
[John 1:1], NIV

"Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"
[John 20:27-28], NIV
...................................................

The most powerful thing Jesus has done is that he gave us proof of God's love for us; the tangible evidence of love and sacrifice that I see daily- the wounds that Jesus received in my own place. Oh, to see the nail pierced hands and feet and know that I should have borne them myself for eternity alone!

... that God mourns the loss of those who walk away from them. And that the Holy Spirit calls them back to Him.

Oh, that the creator of the Universe would be pleased by me! and that he would delight to have me dwell in his presence and glean from him holiness and righteousness, joy and goodness.

love, me

coming soon...

2005-01-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

I think I'm going to create a second blog. God has really given me a passion for praying scripture lately, and I would like to record it in a journal. Since I already blog *almost* daily, I thought it would be easiest to do it using blogger.

So, that'll be coming soon...

Oh and Stephen? This is for you.

love, me

Life or Death

2005-01-29T11:35:00.000-08:00

See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

[Deuteronomy 30:15-20], NIV

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told to you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy and spreads them out like a tend to live in.
He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this word to nothing.
No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown, no sooner to they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwinds sweeps them away life chaff.

[Isaiah 40:21-24], NIV

Our days are numbered and God, you know the number of our days- so may we choose life today.
Give us the inheritance of your spirit, Father- that the nations will say, "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth." We gladly put our hope and trust in you because it is said that you do not grow tired or weary, and that your understanding no one can understand. God, of you may it be said, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

God, fulfill this promise in us today- that by your hand, our strength is seen as a blessing from the Lord God, King of kings and Lord of all lords.

We trust in you Father- may your glory be seen in your servants.
love, me

This week... so far.

2005-01-28T17:06:00.000-08:00

This week has been interesting. It's been crazy fast- and also, I had a weird first:

I was discriminated against because of the color of my skin for the very first time.

I am insanely white. I mean, not just because of the color of my skin, but because I'm not ethnic, like- at all. I'm your stereotypical caucasian American-melting-pot kind of girl... so when a bunch of Mexican girls went off on me, it was weird.

It was more weird because I thought these girls were my friends.

Weird, weird. Jesus is totally amazing because he looked out on the crowds and had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd- the same crowds that cried out, "Crucify Him!"

Amazing. I tried my best to keep that in mind. I think I did okay. I didn't freak out and defend myself like I might have a month ago. Yay God!

In other news, worship has been amazing! God is totally rad (Um, can you tell I was born in 1981?). I've been reading LOTS in Isaiah (I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it!), along with reading through Genesis with Jill and the occasional spot in Hebrews and Psalms. Wow- I love God's Word! It's so... beautiful!

Speaking of spending time with God, I'm gonna go put my shoes on and go to Jill's, then go to group. I'm looking forward to it. This time, I really will ask Greg if we can do worship (like singing and stuff) on friday nights. I NEEEEED worship!

YAY!

love, me

Holy lips

2005-01-27T16:39:00.000-08:00

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another:

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almigthy,
the whole earth is full of his glory."

At the sound of their voices the doorposts and the thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."

Then one of the seraphs few to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"

And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

[Isaiah 6:1-10], NIV

Day after day every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. Since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.

The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First He says:

"This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord.
I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds."

Then he adds:

"Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."

And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the bloog of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

[Hebrews 10:11-24], NIV

God, I worship and give glory to the one who offered the holy and pure as an sacrifice and ransom. I fall, unworthy, unknowing- how can I say thank you? Why Father, did you purpose to make a sacrifice to redeem us your unfaithful ones? That from your hands and feet and side would pour the love of redeeming grace and gifts, You- long despised by those who knew you not and hated you with an out-pouring of sin?

God, I was counted among them. Thank you.

And now I'm learning to stand
to walk with new feet
on this new ground of righteousness
and holiness
to sing with a new voice
of the One who took back the unfaithful from His enemies
and kissed them with Holy lips

Draw us to yourself

love,
me

I cry out

2005-01-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

A voice of one calling:
"In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.
And the glory of the LORD will be revealed,
and all mankind together will see it.
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

A voice says, "Cry out."

And I said, "What shall I cry?"

"All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever."

[Isaiah 40:3-8], NIV

Your blood speaks a better word
Than all the empty claims I've heard upon this earth
Speaks righteousness for me
And stands in my defense
Jesus, it's your blood

Your cross testifies in grace
Tells of the Father's heart to make a way for us
Now boldy we approach
Not earthly confidence
It's only by Your blood

What can wash away our sins?
What can make us whole again?
Nothing but the blood
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can wash us pure as snow
Welcomed as the friends of God?
Nothing but your blood
Nothing but your blood, King Jesus

We praise you for the blood
Yes, we praise you for the blood
We've been ransomed, we've been held
We've been restored and forgiven
Thank you Lord

We praise you for the blood
Yes, we praise you for the blood
What can cleanse a world of sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

Matt Redman, Nothing But The Blood- Robert Lowry, 1876

_________________________________________
God, Holy God, King,
You rule over nations, and with a Word, they rise and fall
and with these same lips you give me life
and with glory call,

I am Holy, I am
I am worthy, I am
Will you follow?
I am God, I am yours
You are mine

...
love,
me

I see you're drinking 1%. Is that because you think you're fat?

2005-01-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

This is just for you guys.

It's okay, you don't have to say it. You're welcome. (Click on the post title)

love, me

I HATE internet explorer.

2005-01-22T14:11:00.000-08:00

Please... please please please please please please please please please please get rid of your internet explorer. Or at least, don't use it. Visit the link on the title of this post and download Mozilla or Firefox. They're both excellent. Not only are they fast and nifty, but they won't render websites all funky and load your computer up with viruses and spyware.

I HATE INTERNET EXPLORER.

Normally, I wouldn't use the word "hate." But I do. It's eville.

Mozilla is what you download if you want an e-mail client, and composer (a thing that makes web pages for you) and a browser all at once.

If you just want the browser by itself, download Firefox. It's A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

Also, visit the little "browse happy" link thing I have at the bottom of the navigation menu to your right. If you don't know why IE is not good for you, read what they have to say. If your parents don't believe that IE is BAD, have them read that. And then have them read this post.

INTERNET EXPLORER IS EVILLE. Not just evil. E-VILLE. Kinda how Krisann pronounces her last name, only she's not eville. She's deaville.

ha. I made a funny.

I don't normally rant. I'm sorry. Forgive me. If you want something meaningful, read my last post or better yet, go here.
love, me

Entry numbero dose.

2005-01-21T23:38:00.000-08:00

Despite the insanely green-go title, this entry will be a little more serious. Because I haven't written a mostly serious entry in awhile, that's why. If you don't have time to read for awhile, or if you're not interested, I won't be offended if you stop reading now.

(Sounds Lemony Snicket-ish, doesn't it?)

I don't really know where to start, but I guess finishing off the thought at the end of my last entry is a good place as any to begin.

I don't know why it really came to mind, but I was worshipping (in my head) today at work while I was doing my job. It's not really the most effective way to worship (seeing as you're busy and all) but it's a great way to keep your mind on God and off of all of the irritating stuff that goes on around you. I have found that the more I invest in God, the more I'm grumpy and irritable and snappy at work. Some of you who knew me before I was a christian knows that side of me. It's not pretty, and it's not me... not anymore. Something happens and suddenly, it's just there. The closer I get to God, the more He tests and stretches me in the area of patience. I know He doesn't test us so that we can fail, but I very much do not see these tests coming (of course, I guess that's the point). Anger and no-patience-ness has been a big weakness for me in the past and something I know God wants me to grow in. Whether it's just my weakness or some outside influence really digging into this weakness, I don't know... but I do know that because of the blood of Christ, satan has to ask permission to interefere with me. Regardless of the cause, God wants me to learn and to grow, and to respond through His power, not my own. I've been really praying, and I know that God is faithful. John 15 talks about being part of the vine and bearing fruit. I don't have to work to bear fruit, I just need to abide in Him. If I am abiding, then the fruit of the Holy Spirit will be produced. I just have to yield.

Please pray with me, that the fruit of the Spirit would continue to abound in me, and that it would be healthy and powerful fruit. God has made too much progress in me for me to give up or stay the same. I cannot stay where I am and follow God. I must choose one or the other. I choose to follow.
...

Anyway, back to the interesting thing about Satan (no, the above paragraphs wasn't it. sorry- poor grammar. I'm tired).

At work, I was thinking about the omniscience of God (all knowing-ness). And I was thinking about satan's limited knowledge and awareness- then it occured to me- I thought:

"It must really frustrate satan that God knows everything and he doesn't."

And then I wondered/thought that satan is so consumed with pride, he probably doesn't even realize he doesn't know everything. I would say he's stupid, but I know better. I almost pity him. Almost. I'll explain why in a minute.

I look around at the unbelievers in my life. They're all lonely, searching and never finding. They get something that they think they want and for awhile, it's okay... but eventually it's not enough. Husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, car, house. Stereo, toys, friends. Drinking. Smoking. Sex. Eventually, it all gets old and you have to go looking for the next level of excitement, or the next new thing, thinking, "Just a little more and I'll be happy." Of course, not all unbelievers are materialists... but the point that I'm getting at is all of these things (and many others) leave you empty. When these things are more important to you than God, they often point you back to yourself and force you to find worth in what you have or what you are.

Satan believed himself to be better than God, and he was thrown out of heaven because of it. God didn't throw him out because He was afraid of a challenge to surpemacy, but because there are no other legitimate claims to equality with God or supremacy over Him. God is all knowing, all seeing and all powerful. There is no other being in heaven or on earth that can compare to Him. God loves and adores His creation and He will not tolerate anything or anyone who tries to steal the devotion of His people from Him. That's why satan had to go. He was cast out of the presence of the Living God.

Outside of the presence of God, satan exists in a kind of vacuum (we call it Hell). This place is completely void of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (the fruits of the Spirit), not simply because God took these things from satan, but because outside of the presence of God, these things cannot exist. He is the source of these things. Without a cause, there is no effect.

Now think back to a time where you felt unloved. Where you had no joy- only inner torment. You longed for kindness from another and could not find it. You found no goodness, only hate and fear. No faithfulness, only infidelity. etc...

This is what hell is like, only a million times worse. The reason I *almost* pity satan is this: that he was so evil and lost that he chose self-worship, emptiness, and dispair over the loving nature and presence of God. What's amazing is that he was in the PRESENCE OF GOD. He knew His character and goodness. He knew that there was and is and will be no other to compare to Him. How did the fall happen? How could he be in the presence of thousands of angels, all singing, "HOLY HOLY HOLY is the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY," and not get it?

And here we are. Most of us here on earth do not recognize God when He is actively present in our lives. Some of us see Him, and are aware of Him and love Him, and when we tell others about Him, we are mocked, or ignored, or discredited.

The difference between these non-believers and satan is this:

that satan knew what he was going miss out on if he lost the battle for King. The unbelievers around us don't.

My life is filled with joy and peace and satisfaction. I have my days, and I make many mistakes, but I am grounded in the faith that regardless of what I do, I am loved and cherished by the Creator of heaven and earth, the King of ALL Kings... and that He went to the greatest length to be reunited with me- He died a horrible death by the hands of men with a terrible hate, when He had done nothing but love them.

I don't really have anything else to say. Love Him.

Isaiah 53:3-12

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.

Like one from whom men hide their faces

he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities

and carried our sorrows,

yet we considered him stricken by God,

smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,

and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

each of us has turned to his own way;

and the LORD has laid on him

the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,

yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgment he was taken away.

And who can speak of his descendants?

For he was cut off from the land of the living;

for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked,

and with the rich in his death,

though he had done no violence,

nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

After the suffering of his soul,

he will see the light of life and be satisfied ;

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,

and he will divide the spoils with the strong,

because he poured out his life unto death,

and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many,

and made intercession for the transgressors.

love, me

Don't have much time to post

2005-01-21T16:41:00.000-08:00

In general, things are very good. It is friday, afterall. I am SOOOOO GLAD it's friday, even GLADDER than that... that it's friday AFTER work. *wiping sweat off my brow*

Did I tell everyone I got my guitar, FINALLY? (what's up with all the capitalization? i don't know.) It's WONDERFUL. (sorry.) It's like this pretty dark teal color (some *boy* asked me what teal is. if you don't know, it's green and blue kinda mixed together.) and it's an acoustic/electric, meaning that it sounds like an acoustic but it can plug into a sound system all easy. That makes me happy. Also, it has all steel strings so my little fingers are threating to commit suicide. Since that's not possible, I just laugh at them until they cry.

And they cry a LOT.

But the good news is that I don't suck quite as badly as I did. Songs are actually starting to sound like songs, and I have a favorite chord! YAY C2!

Okay. So this post is MOSTLY entirely boring. But not completely! Oh, no. *somewhat evil grin*

Um... God is awesome! I have been THIRSTY for Him! I can't be satisfied. Now all I have to do is get off my butt and DRINK! Heh. I'm working on it. I'm getting closer and closer the Father everyday, I think. I love it. I'm looking forward to grop tonight. It's going to be awesome- it always is. Just a bunch of great friends getting together and learning from the Word. I hope hope hope hope we do worship tonight. Greg doesn't always because we are into the Word so long and his need for sleep is much greater than ours. He already stays up WAY later than normal on our account.

Anywhoo... I can't wait to see you guys!

May God bless you and keep you!

I had a really interesting thought about satan today. I'll have to post it later when I get the words all together.

love, me

In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

2005-01-17T18:47:00.000-08:00

God used Dr. King mightily. We remember him.

Listen to Dr. King's famous "I have a dream" speech.

An amazing day, then bed time.

2005-01-16T22:55:00.000-08:00

Well, it's late. Too late.

BUT I JUST CAN'T HELP IT! I HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL DAY! :)

It started off with going to church early. They're doing this survey of church health thing at PRCC, where there's this specialist guy (um, I didn't know there were guys out there who do that kind of thing for a living. Cool!) who analyzes the health of a church based on a survey taken by members, church attendance, curriculum and such. Granted, the info is all pretty much subjective, but I would guess it's a pretty good starting place as far as wanting to really see how you can improve your church.

In any case, I got to church at 7:45. Apparently, I was supposed to be there at 7:30 (oops!), but they were very gracious and I finished the survey on time anyway. It was really interesting.... and in reading some of the statements, and answering the way that I did, I realized that there are definitely some areas where our church needs to grow. Every church body has it's weaknesses, and it's important to recognize what those are and try to strengthen them. I'm excited about the growth that PRCC will be doing.

Church today was AWESOME. All of the praise songs that we did were centered on God's holiness. "And we cry, Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord..." and so on. Every song, one after the other. I loved it. I had a vision of being before the throne of God, His robe filling the temple, wrapped around me, comforting me and warming me, while I was prostrate before Him. Devastated (in a good way) by awe and His majesty, I felt like I had to be lower before Him, that I wasn't low enough, and that I couldn't cry out "Holy, Holy, Holy" loud enough, fast enough, and mean it enough for it to be what He deserved. I was surrounded by angels with trumpets and voices so loud that they lifted my voice up along with a thousand others instead of drowning them out. Some of us rejoiced and wept at His feet, and some stood on His shoulders and kissed His face with their eyes covered.

Wow. Very cool.

After that, Greg did a really great message about settling into the promised land... about taking possession of what it is that God has promised... that like the Israelites, we too often see giants and refuse to believe what God has said. We fear what will happen when we completely abandon our own agendas and let God rule. He said more, but I don't think I have enough time to write about it all.

After church, I rushed out so that I could be *almost* on time to visit the Methodist Church. Their service starts when the PRCC service ends, so I really had to rush to get there for worship. I used to attend there. I came to know Jesus there, and that's where the church family embraced me and took care of me when my Mom couldn't. But that's another entry.

Joel and I were married in that church, too. After the earthquake, however, the old sanctuary has been condemned and the youth cottage is already gone. They're meeting in their (tiny) fellowship hall, but it hasn't dampened their spirits. I walked in the door, and at least five people jumped up and ran to give me a hug, even though they were right in the middle of service. I don't know if that's what God would have wanted them to do, but I felt REALLY REALLY loved and welcome. Like I was at home.

The worship band there is incredible. They have less than half the number of people in the PRCC worship band, and they're like... well, like music to my ears- better than any worship band I could think of. Their song selection is a little odd, but that's okay. Steve (who I'm taking guitar lessons from), Jim (an AMAZING basist, around my age- a little younger), and Artie (the Smeltzer's son-in-law) all come together to make beautiful music.

*sigh* I miss that sound.

Anyway... they had guest speakers from Living Water International. I guess Pastor Floyd was on vacation (I'm kinda glad... he's kind of... un-orthodox in a not so great way). What a great ministry! The focus of this Christ-centered ministry is to go out into the world and help people without access to clean drinking water. Over a billion people on the planet are without safe water... and Living Water Int'l goes out (especially into poverty stricken areas) and trains people how to drill wells, repair broken water pumps, instructs in good water hygene and personal hygene, as well as conservation. Once the great need for water is met, they share the good news of Jesus Christ, the fountain and source of living water!

AWESOME! Go to their website to learn more!

After church, I hang out with Jim and talked music theory (I'm such a dork:) for awhile, visited with Glen and Sandy, Artie and Heidi (and many, many others!) and then got lunch at Quizno's before I went to hang out with Krissy and little Sarah! YAY!

It was way fun, and I got to treat them to ice-cream at Coldstone! *drool*

OH DARN. I just remembered... I left my leftover icecream at their house in the freezer. *whimper* Oh, well.

Dave came home eventually and we watched The Two Towers. Very cool.

Now I'm home and I need to go to bed. More cool stuff happened, but maybe I'll write about it later. This post is already WAY too long!

I LOVE YOU, JESUS!
love, me

...One of the weirdest things I've ever seen.

2005-01-15T13:21:00.000-08:00

Visit this site. I'm not sure how I got there, to tell you the truth... but it made me laugh!

love, me

God knows everything!

2005-01-14T23:15:00.000-08:00

Today was interesting for many reasons.

Joel left for winter-camp today.

This is totally a good thing for Joel. He's going to have a great time of fellowship and worship with the kids. He really needed a vacation and some God time.... without obligations and worries. He's definitely gonna get it. He's not coming back til a little later on monday.

This is particularly interesting because of this bout of loneliness that I have been having lately. Up until today, I have secretly been hoping that there would be some crazy reason why Joel couldn't go because I didn't want to be alone for like, three and a half days (very selfish). In any case, this is interesting because today, I was totally glad that Joel was able to go and am no longer dreading being alone! God is so awesome! He literally changed my attitude and outlook over night. I'm actually kind of looking forward to sleeping in and reading in the quiet of this apartment. I guess when you love a person so much that you even love their noise, you forget how nice it is to have some peace and quiet.

I nearly killed myself today.

Since Joel was supposed to leave today, and because he didn't have to work, we thought it would be great to have lunch together. My lunch break is so short that I can't normally come home and have lunch with him. Today was going to be a special treat, and a good opportunity to say goodbye for the next few days.

So, the music at work signaled that it was time for lunch. I grabbed my purse and hurried to the time clock. I clocked out and hurried to the door. I opened the door and began bounding down the cement steps to the asphault parking lot towards my car. At about the second step (out of five) my brain forgot there were more steps and I made this leap thing like I was gonna start running to my car-- so that I could meet Joel as early as possible and have as long as possible with him.

I flew in mid air for a distance of like 7 feet over a space of about 2 seconds. Time slowed enough for me to realize that the landing wasn't going to be pleasant, and that's all. I landed (right in the middle of the driving area) on my left knee, my left hip, my left elbow, my right foot (not sure how I did that) and my right hand, palm down.

I've never broken a bone before, so I'm not really sure how that feels. I sat on the ground for a few moments, dizzy with pain, trying to figure out if I was too broken to move. After a few seconds, I heard my friends Kris and Denise ask me if I was okay. I managed to nod my head but apparently, Denise wasn't convinced. She asked me a few more times. Once I decided I could probably stand (maybe 45 seconds later), Kris offered to drive me to Jack in the Box. I hobbled in and had lunch with Joel.

Amazing facts:

It is possible to scrape your knee under your jeans without your jeans being ruined and torn. Yay!
It is not possible to fly without wings.
Broken bones must hurt a lot.

In any case, I had a great lunch with Joel. I do miss him, but I am much more glad that I'm not in more pieces that God intended.

Group was wonderful tonight!

We talked about 2 Timothy 3:

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without selfcontrol, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God–having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them..."

Wow... sounds famililar, huh? What's really funny is that Paul talked about those kind of people in his day. They were and ARE everywhere. The trick is not being sucked into this kind of behavior. In a world where it's literally all around us, it's hard to be different and set apart. I mean, just read that! How many of those qualities can be found in us, even as believers?

... having a form of godliness but denying its power. How often do we see people in the world, even in our churches, who attend church on sundays but don't live by the Spirit of God? Or how often are there people who claim to be christians but do not attend any kind of christian fellowship, and actively participate in the things God says are not godly?

People who don't know anything about God or about Jesus or about christians look at these kind of people and say, "That's what a christian is. A person who has to follow a lot of rules. A person who doesn't enjoy life." Or worse, "There's a christian. He says "Love your brother," but cheats on his wife, or gossips. He's no different than me... why do I need all those extra rules?"

Non-believers shy away from christians because they don't want our version "of the truth" shoved down their throats.

If we lived the way Jesus showed us how to live, more people would want the joy, peace and love that we have. They wouldn't feel violated when we share the love of Christ with them (although the Word says that to unbelievers, the scent of Christ is as the scent of death. I guess offense is sometimes inevitable). They've been burned by people who have "a form of godliness" but deny it's power. People who live by man made ideas and not the Living Word of God. He has the power to change us and make us new, where we fail in every attempt to be "good". He has the power to turn our minds away from self focus, and towards Him, and towards the service of others.

We can't be unselfish unless our minds are changed. Our minds can't be changed except through the Spirit of God. Without Him, we get stuck in the rut of self-worship.

What's the point of worshiping something that can't even save itself from death?

People are dumb. God knows everything!

Second post today

2005-01-13T22:19:00.000-08:00

While I began writing my last post, I was totally unaware of the time. I was supposed to be at Jill's at 5pm, and I was still on the phone with Cingular trying to fix some stuff. Cingular is stupid. And we are contracted so we too, are stupid.

Not really.

Anyway. Today was a tough day. It was another one of those "isolated" kind of days. Stephen has been talking about a sense of isolation in his blog, too. I definitely identified with him today. There are like 6 Christians at my work (at least that I am fully aware of... and that speak english. there might be more spanish speaking ones than I'm not aware of) out of like 230 people. So... we're a little out-numbered. Nothing new, right?

We normally work individually in my department. That is to say that we normally work on a specific job by ourselves. 5 to 10 feet, though, in any direction, is another person working on their own machine doing their own assigned work. This relatively short distance allows us to carry on conversations while we work, even though the machines are kind of loud and we don't want to yell across the room about that funny joke we heard at the bar last night.

I wouldn't tell a joke about that. Mostly because I didn't go to a bar last night.

Anyway. Ha ha. *sarcasticness*

That's mostly the kind of thing that the ladies talk about (there are also like 6 guys out of 230 employees. 2 of them are Christians... pretty good number).

Here's a list of what I hear about on a daily basis....

1. Boyfriends.
2. The living situation with the boyfriend.
3. The disrespectful children of the boyfriend (who may or may not be their own children also).
4. The boyfriend's ex-wife.
5. Drinking.
6. Divorce.
7. Being hung over.
8. Being hung over at work.
9. (!!!Insert random expletive here!!!) this, oh... and (!!!Insert random expletive here!!!) that too.
10. I want a raise.
11. I hate our boss.
12. Why haven't I gotten a raise yet?
13. Did you hear about *so and so*?
14. Is that a HICKEY???

.... the list goes on and on. In the past, I've tried to change the subject... and to no avail. It's a little frustrating- but I am determined to have a positive mental attitude!

(Okay, that list wasn't quite as positive as it could have been. Sorry.)

In any case, my life (largely consisting of reading the Bible, worshiping, praying, hanging out with Christian friends, going to church, going to worship band practice, and young adult cell group, being married to a Christian guy, NOT fighting with him, learning to play the guitar and in most other ways- being completely functional) isn't very interesting to the people that I work with. We have ZERO in common... except that I used to be like them.

I try to create some common ground, but it rarely works. That usually leads to the other person trying to get me to gossip. They don't do it intentionally (trying to make me sin, that is), but they're women... and they're not believers.

RANT RANT RANT.

It's my turn to rant, Stephen.

To make a long story even longer, and in short... what I'm trying to say is that I feel extremely lonely at work. I need friends. I desperately want someone to share my passion with. I want someone to understand me. I want them to understand GOD!

I know that I'm bearing fruit at work. I've grown more patient and compassionate. I listen to people when they're hurting and I offer biblical advice (to the best of my ability) when it is welcome. Most of the time, it's not welcome. People notice that I'm rarely angry or depressed or generally disgruntled, and they ask why. I tell them it's because of Jesus and they just look at me like there are weasels on my face.

Wow, I am definitely not a part of this world. Some days, it's more evident than others.

Pray for patience, perseverence and peace. I must remember that this is not my home! :) There's no reason to get comfortable.

love, me

The Bible rocks. Lamech stinks.

2005-01-13T16:38:00.001-08:00

Jill and I are going to read the Bible together in a year. :) We've already started and I am very excited! I was already to Leviticus, and I will probably (maybe?) continue from there myself anyway, but Jill and I started in Genesis yesterday. We figured out that if we read five chapters a day, five days a week, we'll probably be done in time for new year's, even though we started a little late.

EEK! In fact, I need to be getting over to Jill's house now. :) Genesis 6-10. Noah and the Flood! YAY!

love, me

2nd year anniversary! Wahoo!

2005-01-11T16:45:00.000-08:00

Ha! We made it two whole years! This is getting exciting- like a race or a bet. Let's see how long we can make it with all of our limbs!

(the picture's a little blurry - because originally it was HUGE- and dark, but it's a good one. There's Heidi and Stephen, Mark, Kristy, Joel, Dave, Krissy, Paul and Krisann... oh! and me and Joel! We had the best bridesmaids and groomsmen ever! :)

:) Joel and I are doing great. It's gonna get better, too! I'm totally stoked.

Keep praying for our marriage!

love, me

!

Happy Half Birthday to my bloggie!

2005-01-04T23:10:00.000-08:00

Check it out. My blog was a half year old last month... and I didn't even notice. I'd be in trouble if I were married to it.

In any case, I'm working on yet ANOTHER design. It's not much now, but hopefully it will be fancy and neat soon. :)

Check out the background that pops up under the text when your mouse goes over a link!

LINK!

I'm clever, and I thought of that all myself.

love, me

Good news, and more good news!

2005-01-04T16:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, first: GOD IS AWESOME. But we all knew that.

Second: drum roll, please....

are you on the edge of your seat?

I don't need surgery!!! YAY! I had the long awaited appointment with the surgeon today and she said, "The kind of surgery necessary to remove this kind of cyst is extreme. If we can avoid it, we're going to. If the cyst isn't giving you pain, we're going to pretend like it doesn't exist."

WAHOO! So, keep praying that it will not abcess ever, ever again. God is so great!

Third: my good good friend Jill and I are going to get together everyday (except on tuesdays because Jill needs some extra time before youth group to prepare) to worship, pray and read the Word together. I am SO excited. I was telling Stephen yesterday that I LONG for fellowship in worship. I mean, I know that we worship congregationally on sundays, but... it's not that intimate for me. So, anyway- that starts tomorrow (that's wednesday). Pray for the Spirit over us and for great revelations to be made! This is going to be an exciting year! If you want to be a part of it, maybe you can join us! :) Leave a comment if you're interested... but first I have to ask Jill if that's okay.

Anyway, God is awesome. I'm reading through Leviticus right now, which means I HAVE to really look for God in everything I read. In some of the other books, it's not so difficult to see God's hand and desire... but for me, Leviticus is like watching paint dry sometimes. :) The pastor's wife expressed the same thing once, so at least I don't feel alone. She did say though, that the key to getting through those dry times is specifically asking for God's heart in certain areas through the reading. The more you do that, the more God reveals things that maybe you didn't see before or is sort of obscure.

Anyway, wish me luck and bravery. Deuteronomy is next.

love, me

Take my heart

2005-01-03T21:53:00.000-08:00

God is so good. I want Him and He will satisfy me.

Acts 24:27
"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us."

Senseless post

2004-12-28T20:25:00.000-08:00

I really wanted to post about the Tsunami in South/South-East Asia. I nearly wrote something yesterday, but when it was all written out, it seemed so... watered-down compared to the reality. Not nearly empassioned enough.

So here I am. I've read a lot about the tsunami and the pictures still haunt my mind. I am thankful that I only read about the bodies of unclaimed children tangled in barbed-wire fences, and babies pulled out to sea... that I didn't have to see it all with my own eyes. I can't imagine rummaging through a pile of corpses to find my husband. Or child. Or mother. I can't imagine the smell. The horror. The loss.

I find that many people are looking for answers concerning God and "the reason why." There are a few things that I have to say concerning that: some that answer questions, and some that probably seem cold. Please know that this tragedy has struck me deeply, and that I am not uncaring.

First, know that God loves us all deeply. God is all knowing and all powerful... and the fact that God did nothing to stop this tragedy doesn't mean that He delights in suffering. In fact, God has proven His love for us: Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Though we hated God with our lives and thoughts and actions, He was willing to suffer and die that we might be reconciled to Him. Whether we accept this gift or not, it was still offered. He did everything possible to be with us, and still does today. God wants the best for us: Himself.

Second: Death is not the end. There are two things that exist forever: (1)the Word of God and (2) souls. Many, many people have gone through the transition period between life and eternal life (hereafter) in the days since the tsunami hit. For those that have chosen Him (God), eternity will be spent with Him. For those who have not chosen Him, eternity will be spent without Him. This physical life is an opportunity to chose what we want- God does not send people to hell; people choose it. The Bible says in Romans 1 that "...since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities–his eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." God himself can be seen in His creation, not that He IS His creation, that we should worship a tree or a rock, the ocean or the sun, but that their majesty evidences that there is a God, a Holy one who has made heaven and earth. Because of this, The Word says that people are without excuse concerning their belief (or non-belief) in God. The Bible also says that those who have not heard the gospel and do not know the name of Jesus will be judged according to the law that they do know. God has given everyone a chance... even those that haven't heard of Him.

People take death too seriously. We take it so seriously because we don't fully understand what's on the other side... and very often, dying hurts. We miss the ones we've lost in this life. What we must remember is that this life is so extremely momentary compared to forever.

Third: He is the same God today as he was in the Old Testament. Some major events in the old testament include: floods, wars, famines, and plagues. The army of the nation of Israel wiped out entire nations when God wanted them to occupy their land. Sometimes, they didn't have to do any work at all-- God told them to march to battle against great odds, only to find that the entire army was already dead when they arrived. Anyway, the point is that God doesn't stop at using death as a way to get people's attention. He wiped out the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of the people's sin. One of the plagues in Egypt included the death of the firstborn of all families in Egypt (except those with the passover lamb). He asked Isaac to sacrifice Jacob (though He didn't make him go through with it). Jesus let Lazarus die so that He would have an opportunity to raise Him to life. God's Son Jesus was crucified to save us from our sins.

Death is a great tool that God uses for instruction and correction. We are profoundly touched by death, and because of this, it has great potential for deep change and renewing in us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that perhaps God is trying to teach us a significant lesson through this tragedy. For each of us, this lesson will vary. I personally will treasure my life and remember that each moment is a gift, and can vanish in a moment. For others, it may be a venue to find God's answers to the question: Why? Why do I live? Why do we die? What do I want? What do I need?

What do I need?

That perhaps, is the greatest question one can ask. If you are looking for hope, love, patience, forgiveness... joy that endures through trial and suffering... look for those things in God. They are abundant and always found in His arms.

May we not mourn unfruitfully. Let us learn and live.

hehehe...

2004-12-28T17:21:00.000-08:00

please, please, please click here.

Make Snowflakes!

2004-12-22T17:08:00.000-08:00

Go here and design your own snowflake! It's so fun!

Again

2004-12-20T16:33:00.000-08:00

Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice
You became nothing, poured out to death
Many times I've wondered at Your gift of life
And I'm in that place once again
I'm in that place once again

Now You are exalted to the highest place
King of the heavens, where one day I'll bow
But for now, I marvel at Your saving grace
And I'm full of praise once again
I'm full of praise once again

And once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and
I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life

Now You are exalted to the highest place
King of the heavens, where one day I'll bow
But for now, I marvel at Your saving grace
And I'm full of praise once again
I'm full of praise once again

Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross, my friend
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross, my friend

Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice
And I'm in that place once again
I'm in that place once again
_____________________________

O Holy Night!

2004-12-19T21:42:00.000-08:00

This is so great. I've been Christmas caroling twice in the last two days!!!

It's so great to be singing with large groups of people again... especially people I've sung with before.

The Martin's famous annual Christmas party was last night. Joel was not able to go, but I did... and I saw some people who I never really get to see. The Smeltzers were there, and so was Papa and Jennifer and Jamie... and all kinds of people that really loved me and cared for me, even before I became a part of God's family. They accepted me and loved me for who I was... and that made me want to be better. That's how I got to know God!

I feel terrible because I never really have an opportunity to see these people. I love them desperately, but we don't go to the same church and our schedules are so different. I don't get to see Aaron either. :( The holidays really remind me that there are so many people out there that I love and would love to see... but it's just not possible. I think everyone ends up feeling not very loved.

I LOVE YOU! I PROMISE I DO!

Anyway... other than that, things are stupendous. I go back to work full time on monday. It's good that I'm well enough to be able to do that-- God is so good. He takes care of me! I still have to go see the surgeon, but I am totally pain free.

God has been blessing us so abundantly.

Recently, I finally came to the conclusion (yes, it's a little late in coming...) that it's pretty stinking awesome when Joel and I break even (as in, have 2 dollars left in the account after paying all the bills and buying food). The Bible says that God will give us everything that we need. He never promised that He'd give us everything that we want, but He did say that He would give us food and clothes and shelter.

When we get to the point when we're willing to share the things God gives us (our resources: money, time, things, cars, our homes, etc), God has no problem giving them to us because He knows that we're not going to horde it; we're gonna share it with people who really need it. He wants US to share those resources with the needy so that we have an opportunity tell them how much God wants to take care of them.

Anyway- I really truly came to believe that. I mean, I *knew* that, but it was hard to believe it. It wasn't too hard to tithe, but then again, our tithe money wasn't always our last dime, either. Lately, it has been. It finally came down to knowing that if God gave us the money that we have, then we should be willing to give some of it back, knowing that God provides out of His generosity.

Once we stopped hording (how do you spell that??) and caring very little for possessions, God started BLESSING US LIKE CRAZY! God gave Joel a lot of side jobs... and those people have been EXTREMELY generous in paying Joel for His work. Not only that, but we've received some unexpected refunds (heh, we made sure they weren't mistakes in accounting) and our car insurance was considerably lowered.

It's like... we may not have a LOT, but God knows that we're willing to give away what we have... so He's willing to give us MORE! IT'S CRAYYYYYZEEEE! Wow. I'm not kidding.

Two days ago, we literally had NO money. And I mean... NO MONEY. We had enough to eat, and even then just barely. We have enough to pay our bills and to take care of essentials, but buying Christmas gifts was out of the question. We weren't willing to go into debt to buy gifts, and we were literally preparing ourselves to explain to our families why it was that they were not going to receive ANY gifts from us this year.

And then, saturday night, after Joel had finished working on a guy's car, the man payed him... over TWICE the agreed fee for his work.

Now, we have enough to not only buy our families gifts, but one another, too.

( :) Plus Joel got himself a little somethin' too. )

God is so amazingly amazing. I'm in awe. We worry from day to day what's going to happen tomorrow... but we don't stop to remember- to the smallest detail- what lengths God went to to give us what we need. Wow.

Worship Jesus. He deserves it. A lot.

Want to see something amazing?

2004-12-16T14:38:00.000-08:00

Click here.

and here.

These are beautiful photographs. Go see them, and bookmark the photoblogs. They bless me!

Quiz Time!

2004-12-15T21:14:00.000-08:00

Take my quiz!!! Please?

Grrr!

2004-12-15T14:08:00.000-08:00

Twice now I have tried to change the quote under "verse" to an actual verse! It was never intended to be that silly quote from Jill. Then... when I come back the next day to look at it, it's changed back!

Either I am failing to republish the blog with the new setting, or ... well, maybe I'm just dumb. Grrr.

If it's not there now, the verse that's supposed to be there is this:

2 Cor 2:14-17
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, like men sent from God.

Alien Nation

2004-12-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

You're right- you're not crazy. The layout is different and sadly,I did not design it. I really like it though, and I hope you do, too! Merry Christmas!

Anywhoo. I went to the doctor again today. She was not very impressed by my progress and is still sending me to a surgeon. Super stinky.

Things are really, really good. Despite all the medical issues, I am very, very happy. Work is going great and I really feel called to be there. It's not a great job (as far as jobs go) but I know that the Father wants me there. I'm learning how to deal with being an alien. The more I love the Father, and the more that I am obedient in living my life His way, the more alienated I feel. I can't relate to people... not really. I don't stay up all night and drink and fail to come to work because I'm hung over. I don't talk about sex all day and profanities don't come out of my mouth at every opportunity. People feel uncomfortable around me because they think I look down on them because of the way they behave. I have never said that I disaprove of them or dislike them; I have never given anyone a reason to believe that I think less of them because of my faith.

Yet... I am somehow apart. They think that I demand something of them that they're not comfortable with or ready for. And you know why I don't? Because fixing the outward appearance doesn't change the inside. Muzzling a dog that's prone to biting doesn't change its behavior- it only inhibits it. I don't want people to be fake. Jesus loves them the way they are, even when they act the way they do. He doesn't want to get rid of the symptoms, he wants to destroy the illness.

So I have my polite conversation and I share about God when he opens a door. Otherwise, I sit and work alone. Quietly.

If you know me, that might sound odd. I'm an outgoing, lively person with an opinion on most everything. I just can't participate in the common activities and conversation that usually goes on around me. So... silence it is.

It's weird. I like being the center of attention, and this has forced me to take a back seat.

Keep praying for my ministry at J.I.T. They need believers in the ranks!

Ooh... good idea Stephen!

2004-12-11T13:38:00.000-08:00

Um, I don't use chat thingees a WHOLE lot, but Stephen posted his info on his blog and I thought it would be a good idea to post mine, too!

um... here it goes.

Yahoo!- keriklassen
AIM- keriish

I used to have ICQ and all that, but um, I don't anymore. So if you have those, or if you guys all use something else, let me know. Also, if you didn't read my other post from today... keep reading!

Good news!

2004-12-11T13:10:00.000-08:00

I'm doing oh-so-much better than the last time I wrote! Things are *nearly* back to normal, although the cyst isn't gone. It's just... not nearly as abcessed. In any case, I am able to sit most comfortably (even without the assistance of my lovely butt-pillow!), and even roll over in bed without crying out in pain. Ah... very nice. The cyst will mostly likely remain dormant until a very (not-so) convenient time as it might rear it's ugly butt. I think we've avoided surgery for the time being. Oh yes.

Today is the day of the much awaited Vine Street Christmas Show Case. If you are not able to go or have never been, never fear! -- I will have many pictures on hand if my camera doesn't freeze solid. :) Not that it ever really gets to 20 below, but it sure feels like it. I am already thanking Jesus in anticipation of how nice my fleece scarf is going to be!

And because many things have been put on hold because of "the cyst," (I haven't given it a name yet. Any ideas? Leave a comment) I suppose now is a good time to tell of a few things that may have previously gone unmentioned or un-noticed.

Well, mostly just one thing.

Joel and I have officially decided that it's okay to be careless in preventing the coming of a baby!!! WEE! We had pretty much come to that conclusion right before the cyst happened. I had read some pretty ugly testamonials by pregnant women who had to deal with the cyst during pregnancy AND labor. I definitely did not want to do that. It would be like giving birth twice, only... yucky. yuckier.

But, seeing as this thing is pretty much uncontrollable and is as much under control as it ever will be at this point, I think we're going to move on with this little plan of ours.

Keep posted for further news (or no news!)

love, me

Official diagnosis and treatment plan

2004-12-09T14:24:00.000-08:00

Hey! I went to the doctor again today. Got a big ol' shot and a referal to a surgeon. I'm not getting an operation yet, but I'm beginning to think that kind of pain would be better than THIS kind of pain.

In any event, darvocet is nice. *grin* It's making me a little sleepy. AND! It's pink!

(the color in this photo was not adjusted in any way! Pill may appear larger than in reality. Or maybe not.)

AND! I got one of those nifty donut things that you sit on. WAIT! I'm gonna take a picture of it!

look how cute it is!!! It even has a handle!!!!
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I am so weird. :) I'll talk to you guys later.

this is so funny my uterus hurts.

2004-12-08T17:05:00.000-08:00

wanna learn how to knit a uterus?

Crazy butt stuff.

2004-12-07T13:14:00.000-08:00

Heh. Sorry about the title. I just wanted to get your attention. :)

Um, I went to the doctor today. I have been diagnosed with a pilonidal cyst! (Be warned, this website is really informative, butt (HA HA!) there are also some really graphic pictures of this particular... um, issue.)

Two years ago, at Stephen's 21st birthday party, we were all on the trampoline. I'm crazy afraid of trampolines (I have good reason, now!) because I don't like the idea of falling and other people jumping on my head. Anyway, because of this fear, I was sitting on the trampoline (which was then on pavement, I think) and the others were launching me (jumping in such a way as to launch me into the air several feet, and much to my apprehensive dismay). There were so many people on the trampoline, however, that it bottomed out (meaning their feet and MY BUTT/lower back hit the ground 3-4 feet below with amazing force). The wind was knocked out of me and I thought I was dying. For the next several weeks, I could tell my back was a little out of whack, but I figured I wouldn't go to the doctor because there's really not a whole lot you can do for a broken tail bone and because I didn't have insurance at the time.

Ever since then, my tail bone is really sore at odd and random spread out occasions. It doesn't hurt all the time, but sometimes it really flares up.

The last few days, it's been so bad that I can hardly sit, walk, or lie down without being in pain. Unfortunately, those encompass just about all of the positions that your body can comfortable take over any extended period of time. I nearly went to the emergency room last night, but thought it would be better to go to the doctor today.

I did, and now I have these REALLY BIG pills to take. I was reading online that some types of pilonidal cysts do not respond to anti-biotics... so I'm hoping that I have the kind that does. Otherwise, it's surgery for me!

WEE!

So, pray for me. I don't want surgery on my butt.

World AIDS Day

2004-12-01T16:16:00.000-08:00

Two ways to avoid contracting HIV:

1) Don't do drugs. If you can't help yourself, don't share needles. Duh.

2) Don't have sex with people who have HIV or AIDS. Don't have sex with people you're not married to. If you're not married to them and you're not sure whether or not they have HIV or AIDS, DON'T HAVE SEX... because condoms are never 100% protection.

AIDS and HIV have been around for awhile now. In general, people know that it's out there. Everytime you have sex and/or share a needle, you run the risk of contracting this deadly disease.

There are, of course, cases where people completely innocent of any kind of wrong doing contract the disease in extreme circumstances.

But I'm going to guess that 99.9% of people that contract the disease were not completely innocent of wrong doing. I truly believe that God created the HIV virus in order to teach people a very important lesson: sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, and doing drugs, are WRONG. God loves people too much to continually allow them to behave in a way that is spiritually harmful. If illness and death is the only way that people will get the point, that's how it has to be.

It's important to remember that life isn't over when this body dies. If a person has 10+ years after they've contracted HIV to learn that God is a God of love and righteousness (literally: rightness), and that He desires His people to worship Him with their lives and not commit sin... to become more like Him, then those ten years are well spent.

I do not, AT ALL, condone the mistreatment of anyone who has contracted HIV or has full blown AIDS. They are people, and deserve to be treated as such. They should not be discriminated against because of their disease. God loves them, and because Jesus commanded us to love one another, we should love people with AIDS as well, regardless of why they contracted it.

All of us have sinned. I am not singling out those with the disease simply because their disease may expose their sin. My sin is no better or "less wrong" than a homosexual's, or a drug addict, or a person who has sex outside of marriage. AT ALL. I must face the consequences of my sin, just as one of these must. Amazingly, and thankfully, we have opportunity to receive forgiveness of sin FOR FREE. We don't have earn it, we can't buy it, we're not good enough or smart enough. All we have to do is ask. When you've commited your life to God, receive Jesus' death on the cross as the atonement for the things you've done wrong and the ways you've offended God, and ask God to be the Lord of your life, it's done. You're saved from hell and eternal death. It's so easy.

Frankly, I'm a little jealous of the dying. They have an opportunity to see the Father a lot sooner than I do.

to Stephen

2004-11-24T16:36:00.000-08:00

Here. Read this and pray for Stephen.

I was listening to Calvary Chapel station on the radio on my way to and from work today. One of the speakers was preaching on Abraham and Isaac. One of the things that he said (I wasn't in time to catch who the pastor actually was) was that it wasn't God's intention to lie to Abraham, or to scare him, or to make him do evil, but that God just wanted to see exactly how much Abraham loved God, and how far he would go to honor Him.

What's awesome is that Abraham trusted God the whole way. When it was time for Abraham and his son to leave his servants and go up to the mountain for the sacrifice, he told them:

"Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."

Abraham remember God's promise that his descendants would be as many as the stars in the sky... He believed God's promise.

Because Abraham was faithful, God was faithful.

This just reminded me of you, Stephen. God asked you to give up something very precious to you, and because of your willingness, God will honor you with a gift of great price.

It's in His character.

(ps- this goes for Krisann, too! Haven't heard from you lately...)

I heart Ship

2004-11-22T16:32:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, I want all of you to go here and oogle all over this insanely adorable web-comic that I've fallen in love with. Yes, in love. It's about a little girl, her mom, and their imaginary friend, a cute little sheep named Ship. It's witty and cute and funny. This is my favorite strip so far.

I haven't updated in a very long time, and as I've told Stephen and others (Hi Stephen and others!), it's mostly because my life isn't quite interesting enough to blog about. I think the extent of it all is pretty much as follows:

1:
I finished the Scarlet Letter. I wish I had read it sooner and I wish I had a bigger vocabulary. I was telling people that it's a good book because Nathaniel Hawthorne doesn't cop-out and give you the lovey-dovey happy ending just because the reader would want it (which I did), but instead gives you an ending that's both realistic and thought provoking. It was like an 18th century soap-opera on paper! I loved it.

2:
I'm learning how to play the guitar. I don't have calouses on my fingers yet and I constantly whine like a baby. The tips are slightly swollen and very tender. Also, I suck at the playing the guitar.
So far.

3:
People have been asking Joel and I a LOT lately about having kids. Is there some afore-unmentioned count down on when you're supposed to ask newly-weds when they're going to begin reproducing??... cos it's only in the last week that people (namely my sister and some hispanic friends of mine) are beginning to wonder.
I wouldn't mind having a kid, but I don't think Joel is quite interested yet. The more people ask, the more I think about it and the more I think it might be okay. It's amazing how much effect public opinion has! Anyway, if I get really impatient, and Joel just isn't making up his mind (in my favor ;) quickly enough, I just might have to ask God to intervene! That is, if I decide that I'm mature enough to handle something like a baby. Man, the thought freaks me out a little.

Anyway... sorry about being a lame updater! I hope you'll find it in your hearts to forgive me! If you leave a comment, maybe I'll have something cute (Stephie!) to respond to!

love, me

One of the reasons I am not voting for Kerry

2004-11-01T16:45:00.000-08:00

44,670,812 babies have been aborted since 1973.

That's fourty-four million, six hundred seventy thousand, eight hundred and 12 children.

There were over 3,600 abortions per day in the year 2000, 151 per hour, one every 24 seconds.

The question that comes to mind is this:

When does a mass of cells become a life? At conception? At live birth? Somewhere inbetween?

Are you sure enough of your answer to justify abortion... what many call murder? If there's no real way to know, we cannot morally guess.

Statistics show that 93% percent of abortion cases occur because the mothers-to-be were not ready to have a child. Should we legalize murder because of widespread irresponsibility? Because we should be able to choose what we do with our bodies?

Yes- we are able to choose. If we are not ready to have children, we should not have sex. It's a simple case of cause and effect. Take responsibility and stop listening to your stupid emotions. "Because it feels good" is not a good excuse to murder.

In some states, it is considered "double homicide" if a pregnant woman is murdered. Why then is it not considered homicide when the child alone is destroyed?

John Kerry says that a ban against partial birth abortion violates the constitutional right of a woman's choice. John Kerry supports partial birth abortion.

Most partial birth abortions take place when the child is 5-6 months within the womb; a time when babies are clinically proven to have a chance at survival outside the womb in cases of premature labor and birth.

To perform a partial birth abortion, the doctor pulls the unborn baby out of the womb by the feet until all but the head is out of the woman's body. Then, the doctor literally stabs a pair of scizzors into the base of the baby's skull, and widens the blades, allowing space for a suction tube to enter into the baby's skull. The doctor then sucks out all of the contents of the baby's skull including all fluids AND the brains, causing death.

The baby has no general or local anesthesia (pain killers).

What I think bothers me the most (aside from the fact that the baby is murdered at a time when it's body can sustain life) is that the doctor won't look at the baby's face while he's killing it. What is the medical benefit of leaving the baby's head inside its mother's body? It is only until after the baby is dead that they will take it out and dispose of the body.

Even if I disagreed with everything that the Bush administration has accomplished (or not accomplished) in the past four year term, I could not vote for a man who would legalize murder because he wouldn't want to step on any toes by telling a woman that it isn't okay to murder her child.

Sometimes, you have to stand up for your beliefs whether they are popular or not.

Behind the times. Again!

2004-10-27T22:07:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've posted. I'm so sorry. I'm lame.

Things have been amazing. I got to see Keegan being born. That was amazing (birth control, too!) and I was just in awe of both God AND Kristy! Heh. :) She had a really difficult labor. Keegan literally came out sideways and there were a lot of complications as a result of his position. She had really bad back labor-- so bad that she stopped dialating because her body was so tense. She was at the hospital for 24 hours before she had her baby. All in all, he's a really cool baby. He's a little fussy, but I would be too if I got squeezed out of a little teeny space in a really awkward position.

God is amazing and new everyday, yet always the same. I've been reading the Word like crazy. In three weeks, I've read through all of Genesis and all of Matthew. I'm going to start Exodus tomorrow. It's really neat how it alternates between new and old testaments so that you don't get overwhelmed with Old Testament Law.... plus you get a little bit of Jesus all the time!

I've been learning a lot... but I have to say that the biggest thing that I get out of the Word is an increased awareness of God's voice as He speaks to me throughout the day. It's amazing... because all kinds of opportunities have presented themselves to me.

God has especially been using me in the area of counseling. It's really cool because I'm receiving training in that area and I get to put into practice all the things that I'm learning.

I'm learning patience and compassion and mercy. It's amazing. There are some situations going on right now that are just heart-breaking... but God is giving me the ability to teach with love and patience- to show the way that God desires these particular people to live and that He loves them desperately.

I was able to counsel tonight with the words of God. I know that I'm not capable of what it was that I said and did tonight. It was all Jesus. God is doing mighty things in and through me.

I will be changed!

Hey... new thing!

2004-10-18T16:56:00.000-07:00

Hey. I have a new place to post photos (well, it's shiny and new, anyway... we'll see how long I last at this)!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/keriish/

go there! I don't think I have more than one picture up yet.

Baby

2004-10-18T16:53:00.000-07:00

Baby
Originally uploaded by saline13.

HOLY COW! Check this out!

Caution: may result in brain loss

2004-10-14T22:37:00.000-07:00

First cold of the year. I'm all goopy. I sneezed last night and I surprised myself... I nearly lost my brains!

Ugh.

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure...

here's an artsy fartsy picture i took in san luis! It's not super great (the focus isn't right) but at least it's colorful!

Keep praying for my reading!

2004-10-13T16:15:00.000-07:00

I got a really neat "reading the bible in a year" schedule thing and it's been really helping me out as far as getting me to to read everyday and it's neat how they have it all set up because it's not all old testament and then all new testament. They have it broken up a little so I can get a litle of Jesus while I check out the ten plagues. It's awesome.

And, if I keep reading at the pace I am now, I should have read the bible THREE times by this time next year. I'm a fast reader, and I really love the old testament.

I'm not pushing myself though... I want to get what God's saying to me more than I want to accomplish some "task."

Pray that I will be steadfast and that God will reveal the meaning of His Word to my heart through the Holy Spirit.

YEAH!

Anyway... I've been reading about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (yea, Israel!). It's really cool to see how faithful is to his people when they are totally sold out for him. What's especially encouraging (in a weird sort of way) is that even though these guys messed up REALLY badly at times, God stuck by them and forgave them... and they (the people) were repentant and wanted God's will. The Holy Spirit worked like crazy and communicated to them and gave them gifts like prophecy and dream interpreting. God uses little people to accomplish BIG things.

:) I want God to use me like that.

Also, it's important for me to remember that God's timing is not my own. God promised Abraham that he would give birth to the nations, yet his wife was barren. God did all that he promised, and through the twelve sons of Israel, Abraham did indeed become the father of many nations.

God also promised Abraham that he would deliver his chosen people into a land flowing with milk and honey, yet Abraham, nor Isaac, nor Jacob lived to see this promise fulfilled... but he did it!

If God promises something, he does it! even if we aren't around to see it.

God rocks.

Genesis is down, Matthew is next... :)

Some days I wish Christians were allowed to rant and be angry for stupid reasons

2004-10-08T23:06:00.000-07:00

Today was 99% good.

The last ten minutes of the good part of my day was ruined by a person very close to me who chose to be selfish and childish and other "ish" things.

GAR! So what did I do??? I showed 'em by being childish and selfish and rude RIGHT back.

Ugh. Suffice it to say, I was not a very good example of Christ tonight.

Duphus.

2004-10-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. I'm sorry that I haven't posted in so long. I had this really awesome idea for a design and I was trying to figure it out with all the nifty blog tags. I had it all saved in the template thing, but I didn't want to "re-publish" because I wasn't done yet... so I couldn't post.

But then I accidentally erased it, so... I lose.

Anyway. Things have been okay. We're trying to sell the Grand Am (pray that it will sell well) and I still don't know about the promotion. Let it suffice to say that "I work for J.I.T."

If you've heard me talk about my workplace, you know what that means.

< -- begin somewhat bitter note -- >
[what that means is that the owner doesn't really care about his employees (we cost him money) and we aren't treated very well (things like decent pay and good benefits cost money)... so I shouldn't expect to get a promotion, or a raise in a very timely manner (doing something for an employee involves taking time- which is money- away from doing some other thing that could be making money), if at all]

< /-- end somewhat bitter note -- / >

Other than that, things are pretty good. I have a weird health thing going on that I'm not sure about yet, but keep praying that I'm healthy and safe. I'll share when I know more and/or/if the problem goes away.

I love my husband. I like my job (what I do, anyway). Also, I enjoy Insaniquarium.

Oh, and Danny and Kristy are moving... :/

To Fresno, of all places.

ALSO! I almost forgot...

Keegan was born!

Keegan Lewis Batesole
weight: 8lbs. 11oz.
length: 21 inchels long
cuteness factor: off the charts

I got to see him being born! I think I'll write a post on that later. For now, I'm exhausted.

The craziest thing I've ever seen

2004-09-29T15:15:00.000-07:00

I saw a baby born today.

It came out sideways, I'm not kidding.

It was possibly the grossest/coolest thing I've ever seen.

HELLO KEEGAN! Welcome!

Once again

2004-09-29T10:21:00.000-07:00

As I sit here typing, I am quite literally shaking.

In the last week, the San Andreas fault out of Parkfield has produced over 520 earthquakes, most of which have not been physically perceivable, but more than a dozen that have been larger than a 3.0 in magnitude. Ten minutes ago, there was another registering at 5.2 on the Richter scale.

Many of us in San Luis Obispo county are learning about the nature of earthquakes on a daily basis now. I'd rather be ignorant, thanks. The worst part about them is that you never really know how bad they are going to be until they're over. The initial shake is enough to scare you out of your seat, but then you wonder how big it will be, and if you should look for something to hide under, or if you'll be able to get out of your front door once fallen items and broken glass block the path to it.

None of them so far have been as bad as this, but it reminds us all how precious our lives are, and how things can change in a split second. It's not like a storm that you can see coming or a war that you hear about on the news. It comes quickly and without warning. Sometimes they are harmless. Sometimes, they make you wish you lived on an airplane- something off of the ground.

The 6.0 that we experienced yesterday didn't scare me. I had people around me in a large building with only one level. But now, I am home alone, on the second floor with no one to be with except for a bunch of fish and a few lousy parakeets. They're all nervous and freaking out-- not much of a comfort to me.

Shake rattle and roll.

2004-09-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

Another earthquake felt in Paso Robles.

All of this shaking is making people nervous. Today wasn't so bad... it was only a 6.0, and it rolled instead of violently shaking like the one in December (a 6.5) did, but still.

It's amazing how pliable concrete is. The floor rolled at J.I.T. so badly that while I was under my desk, there was actually a split second were my feet were at two different altitudes. And people panicked... but at least we got to take a ten minute break outside while everyone was accounted for and the building was deemed safe. Nobody FELT safe, but we all went back in.

Amazing. The earthquakes just keep coming. Here's a list of all the different "eruptions" that have happened in Parkfield recently.

... and I'm home early because I think I have a slight case of food poisoning. Not at all related to the earthquake.

Amen, sister.

2004-09-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

This is what I think, too!

an awesome Word

2004-09-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

God won't tolerate the presence of sin. He is holy and perfect and righteous.

When we decided to do something other than God's will for our lives, sin was born. This created a very ugly, very simple problem: Though we were created to fellowship with God, we could no longer do so.

Offerings and sacrifices became a temporary solution. We (people of the past) gave up things that were valuable and important to them and destroyed it for God, showing him that the important things in our lives weren't as important to us as being with Him, even though our sinful nature compelled us to sin.

God grew tired of the temporary solution. People used it as an excuse to sin saying, "I will ask forgiveness later." God didn't want sacrifices... He wanted the undying love and devotion of his people. Something permanent and lasting needed to take place... something that would change the very core of our beings... something that would enable us to dwell in the presence of God forever.

God sent part of himself, his Son Jesus Christ to dwell on earth and die a hateful death- the final sacrifice. When we believed in the death and resurrection of Jesus and asked for the spirit of the living God to dwell in us, we became changed. Instead of being driven by our own sinful nature, we are now compelled by the spirit of God to do good works, not because we can earn salvation, but because we have already received it.

God is making us more like him- loving and just.

Colossians 3:10-14

Each of you is now a new person. You are becoming more and more like your Creator, and you will understand him better. It doesn't matter if you are a Greek or a Jew, or if you are circumcised or not. You may even be a barbarian or a Scythian, and you may be a slave or a free person. Yet Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together.

God loves me the way that I am because He created me and because His spirit dwells inside of me, giving me the appearance of Christ in heavenly realms. He does not, however, want me to remain as I am. He wants me to become more and more like himself ...loving, just, righteous, holy.

2004-09-20T16:26:00.000-07:00

Joel didn't fall in. :) Here he is just below the waterfall. The last time we went, the waterfall was all huge and spectacular. We've had too little rain this year for it to be really big, but it was still awesome.