1.21.2005

Entry numbero dose.

Despite the insanely green-go title, this entry will be a little more serious. Because I haven't written a mostly serious entry in awhile, that's why. If you don't have time to read for awhile, or if you're not interested, I won't be offended if you stop reading now.

(Sounds Lemony Snicket-ish, doesn't it?)

I don't really know where to start, but I guess finishing off the thought at the end of my last entry is a good place as any to begin.

I don't know why it really came to mind, but I was worshipping (in my head) today at work while I was doing my job. It's not really the most effective way to worship (seeing as you're busy and all) but it's a great way to keep your mind on God and off of all of the irritating stuff that goes on around you. I have found that the more I invest in God, the more I'm grumpy and irritable and snappy at work. Some of you who knew me before I was a christian knows that side of me. It's not pretty, and it's not me... not anymore. Something happens and suddenly, it's just there. The closer I get to God, the more He tests and stretches me in the area of patience. I know He doesn't test us so that we can fail, but I very much do not see these tests coming (of course, I guess that's the point). Anger and no-patience-ness has been a big weakness for me in the past and something I know God wants me to grow in. Whether it's just my weakness or some outside influence really digging into this weakness, I don't know... but I do know that because of the blood of Christ, satan has to ask permission to interefere with me. Regardless of the cause, God wants me to learn and to grow, and to respond through His power, not my own. I've been really praying, and I know that God is faithful. John 15 talks about being part of the vine and bearing fruit. I don't have to work to bear fruit, I just need to abide in Him. If I am abiding, then the fruit of the Holy Spirit will be produced. I just have to yield.

Please pray with me, that the fruit of the Spirit would continue to abound in me, and that it would be healthy and powerful fruit. God has made too much progress in me for me to give up or stay the same. I cannot stay where I am and follow God. I must choose one or the other. I choose to follow.
...

Anyway, back to the interesting thing about Satan (no, the above paragraphs wasn't it. sorry- poor grammar. I'm tired).

At work, I was thinking about the omniscience of God (all knowing-ness). And I was thinking about satan's limited knowledge and awareness- then it occured to me- I thought:

"It must really frustrate satan that God knows everything and he doesn't."

And then I wondered/thought that satan is so consumed with pride, he probably doesn't even realize he doesn't know everything. I would say he's stupid, but I know better. I almost pity him. Almost. I'll explain why in a minute.

I look around at the unbelievers in my life. They're all lonely, searching and never finding. They get something that they think they want and for awhile, it's okay... but eventually it's not enough. Husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, car, house. Stereo, toys, friends. Drinking. Smoking. Sex. Eventually, it all gets old and you have to go looking for the next level of excitement, or the next new thing, thinking, "Just a little more and I'll be happy." Of course, not all unbelievers are materialists... but the point that I'm getting at is all of these things (and many others) leave you empty. When these things are more important to you than God, they often point you back to yourself and force you to find worth in what you have or what you are.

Satan believed himself to be better than God, and he was thrown out of heaven because of it. God didn't throw him out because He was afraid of a challenge to surpemacy, but because there are no other legitimate claims to equality with God or supremacy over Him. God is all knowing, all seeing and all powerful. There is no other being in heaven or on earth that can compare to Him. God loves and adores His creation and He will not tolerate anything or anyone who tries to steal the devotion of His people from Him. That's why satan had to go. He was cast out of the presence of the Living God.

Outside of the presence of God, satan exists in a kind of vacuum (we call it Hell). This place is completely void of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (the fruits of the Spirit), not simply because God took these things from satan, but because outside of the presence of God, these things cannot exist. He is the source of these things. Without a cause, there is no effect.

Now think back to a time where you felt unloved. Where you had no joy- only inner torment. You longed for kindness from another and could not find it. You found no goodness, only hate and fear. No faithfulness, only infidelity. etc...

This is what hell is like, only a million times worse. The reason I *almost* pity satan is this: that he was so evil and lost that he chose self-worship, emptiness, and dispair over the loving nature and presence of God. What's amazing is that he was in the PRESENCE OF GOD. He knew His character and goodness. He knew that there was and is and will be no other to compare to Him. How did the fall happen? How could he be in the presence of thousands of angels, all singing, "HOLY HOLY HOLY is the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY," and not get it?

And here we are. Most of us here on earth do not recognize God when He is actively present in our lives. Some of us see Him, and are aware of Him and love Him, and when we tell others about Him, we are mocked, or ignored, or discredited.

The difference between these non-believers and satan is this:

that satan knew what he was going miss out on if he lost the battle for King. The unbelievers around us don't.

My life is filled with joy and peace and satisfaction. I have my days, and I make many mistakes, but I am grounded in the faith that regardless of what I do, I am loved and cherished by the Creator of heaven and earth, the King of ALL Kings... and that He went to the greatest length to be reunited with me- He died a horrible death by the hands of men with a terrible hate, when He had done nothing but love them.

I don't really have anything else to say. Love Him.

Isaiah 53:3-12

He was despised and rejected by men,

a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.

Like one from whom men hide their faces

he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities

and carried our sorrows,

yet we considered him stricken by God,

smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,

and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

each of us has turned to his own way;

and the LORD has laid on him

the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,

yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgment he was taken away.

And who can speak of his descendants?

For he was cut off from the land of the living;

for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked,

and with the rich in his death,

though he had done no violence,

nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

After the suffering of his soul,

he will see the light of life and be satisfied ;

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,

and he will divide the spoils with the strong,

because he poured out his life unto death,

and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many,

and made intercession for the transgressors.

posted by keri at 11:38 PM